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Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Getting help for our children

Amen. It's utterly ridiculous what we have to go through in order to get help for our children. Help; mind you, that's paid for by our taxes. Sadly they don't always want to do their job but yet my taxes still go to paying their salary! And I'm not talking about the teachers - sadly their hands are tied, too.

For FOUR years I've been telling special services my child is dyslexic and was told no, even after I presented them with testing from an outside source; I was told there are no signs of dyslexia. My child has struggled; thought of herself as different because she doesn't understand like other children; she's questioned her own intelligence; but thankfully my daughter is a FIGHTER! She's strong, hardworking, tenacious, last but not least.. She is smart! She's compensated, only someone intelligent can compensate so well she could fooled even a trained educational specialist.

In the 3rd grade, she compensated so well she managed to come off of her accommodations because she benchmarked her reevaluation; however, she kept her IEP due to speech accommodations.

4th grade was quite the transitional year for her. Very difficult - I begged and begged to put the accommodations back in place but to no avail because she benchmarked the previous year. Now understand from the beginning of August 2014 to February 2015, my daughter stayed with an F the entire time in Reading, literally, nothing but an F. The teachers tried to rally together to help but with each of the 3 teachers having 30 kids in the class you can imagine the help wasn't adequate and I was left with no other alternative but to drug my child.

In February 2015, we started our daughter on 20mgs of Vyvanse, moving up to 30mgs and now she's on 40mgs to help her. It helped but really, at what cost? My child suffers from stomach issues due to the medication and we have no clue what the long-term effect will be. 4th grade was such a struggle. I felt so useless to help my daughter. It was the worst feeling in the world to me; I felt as though I had failed my child even though she passed to the 5th grade, her self-confidence took a major hit.

As my daughter started the 5th grade; I was determined not to fail my child. I wanted to give her all the tools I could to help her succeed. She's on her 40mgs of Vyvanse, which does help with her ADD, no doubt! But she still struggled! So I started the year paying for a tutor 2 days a week for 2 hours each time, which has helped a lot. My child is doing well. I'm so happy for her! And I thought well maybe the testing for dyslexia was wrong.

So here we are, time for the annual IEP meeting. I'm thinking, easy meeting. None of me having to fight for accommodations because I went over their heads with medication and tutoring. This is her last year at this school and she'll move to a school that a lot of people around here want their child to attend due to their academic curriculum. We moved to this school zone specifically to get her in this school system. Again, I'm feeling great about the IEP meeting. My sweet girl is on honor roll and this is going to be easy! Wrong...

We are discussing where my daughter is currently and although she has an A in Reading; Reading is still such as hard subject for her. Another person enters this IEP. One that's been there before but only briefly to tell me my daughter shows no signs of dyslexia. She's the person that tested my daughter before or had a hand in her testing.

She tells me they are deeply concerned about my daughter. I said why? She said, we believe she meets 5 of the 6 criteria of dyslexia.

I mean, seriously? My mouth literally dropped. How do combat someone's inability to listen to the parent? Trust me, I've handled myself with poise, intellect, knowledge, and they've seen me more than my own sister has each year! I was never rude or ugly; I simply asked for help; backing up the need with outside testing as well as her scores within the school. I was prepared.

I literally cried. I realized a few things on this day:


1. I didn't fail my child; THEY did. My child struggled when she shouldn't have because they wouldn't do their job properly. 2. My child is the strongest, smartest, most tenacious person I know, and how extremely proud of her I am! 3. How much harder I should have fought for what I knew. If that's possible because I fought but I would have been there fighting more than I did. They would have seen me every time she had a failing grade! 4. I have to reiterate; I'm so proud of my daughter. She compensated because she's smart in spite of obstacles no one was willing to see that were in her way.

Sorry I was so long-winded- I just wanted to share our story in hopes to help other frustrated parents out there. Continue to be your child’s number 1 advocate; continue to go there until they listen to the person that is truly your child’s teacher; YOU! You know your child better than anyone and you need to make them understand that as long as your child struggles… you’re going to be right there, holding them accountable to do their job!

1 comment:

  1. Sad story and I feel for you and your daughter. You are doing great, it's just ridiculous that their lack of help has been detrimental. Keep fighting!

    ReplyDelete

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Our ADHD Story is a place where people can share their stories, thoughts, and feelings about ADHD. Get past the generic list of symptoms and see how it is affecting people in real life through personal stories. We are not here to inform you, we are here to engage you.