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Saturday, January 18, 2014

Tips for a Happy Marriage





 I admit I think most of the credit to my happy marriage should be given to my husband because he is so patient and loving. Still I thought I would make a list of 30 ways I believe have helped us keep our marriage strong and may help others.


  • Keep your fights and intimacy between only you and your spouse. (Except maybe a professional counselor and no your relative who one day wants to be a counselor does not count) Also make sure there is intimacy!
  • Having secrets as a couple is a good thing. We love to smile when we think of a secret story that nobody else knows about and giggle about moments that only we know. It also creates some great inside jokes for just the two of you to enjoy.
  • The only secrets you keep from your spouse are special surprises you are planning for each other. Plan those often.
  • Don’t call each other names or attack their insecurities
  • Use only ‘I feel’ instead of ‘you’ statements
  • Make a safe place to communicate without judgement
  • If you find yourself wondering why your spouse isn’t being affectionate, giving, or loving enough ask yourself if you have been with them. Most of the time you will find it goes both ways.
  • Check in regularly, asking how each person feels and make one goal to improve in the future even if you don’t feel like you need this discussion.
  • Try new things together which will keep some fun, excitement, and give you even more stories you can laugh about.
  • Even if you are mad and your spouse says I love you, say it back
  • Don’t be needy but know when you are needed. My husband does not clean the house every day but there are moments that he sees I am having a really bad day and cleans without me even having to ask for help.
  • No one else’s opinion matters except yours and your spouses. Don’t seek confirmation from others that what you or your spouse is doing is good or bad.
  • Never lie, even small ones. Some of the hardest things are telling when you have made a mistake but I promise it is worth it. Trust is essential.
  • Never be too honest. Do I know that I don’t have a body like a model. Ofcourse. I still love to hear my husband tell me I am the sexiest woman in the world (Even now I can see him reading this and saying “You really are the sexiest woman in the world” and I eat it up every time.)
  • Forgive and as fast as possible.
  • Fight when you have calmed down. I have noticed for us it is best to talk about unrelated topics and come back to what was bothering us when we are calm.
  • Just because you fight does not mean one of you needs to sleep on the couch. If you wake up on the couch you are just going to be grumpier and being mad shouldn’t stop you from getting a good nights sleep. (Yes I know this is going against the never go to bed mad rule but this has worked so much better for us.)
  • At the end of every fight there is something you both can say sorry for. You are never completely an angel even if it means saying sorry for raising your voice too loud.
  • Admit when you are wrong. I have had many times where I have had to say “oh you are right.” He loves these moments!
  • Always say hello and goodbye. Some may think it is silly that your spouse should know where you are but I think it’s being respectful.
  • Wrestle. I love running around the house and tackling each other down. This should however not be done during a fight!
  • Make sure your spouse knows that you notice all their hard work. Tell them thank you for going to work or for playing with the kids. Just because some things are expected does not mean they should go unappreciated.
  • Set an amount you feel comfortable spending before you need to talk about the decision with your spouse. For us it is $50 but discuss this together and find a number that works best for you. We also don’t sign a contract without talking with each other.
  • Be equal partners. Even though my husband brings home the paycheck I have the same say in how our money is spent and even though I am the one who becomes pregnant my husband still has the same say in how many children we have.
  • Be on the same team. With kids it is nice to talk about big decisions together but sometimes a child will ask you for something and when you say no they will try your spouse for a better answer. This also works if one of you doesn't want to go to a party you were invited to, say no or yes together.Remember you are teammates going for the same goal.
  • Save the last bite of dessert for your spouse. We usually find that the last bite ends up being cut in half and we take the bite together.
  • In a crowded room make sure to smile, wink, or squeeze their hand. It is one of the best feelings in the world to know that even with all the distractions you are still their priority.
  • Pick your battles. I am not too concerned about his plans for our yard so I let him have it and when something is important to you he will return the favor.
  • Care even when you don’t. His plans for the yard are not something that gets me excited but I have sat out there listening to him talk about where the goats will go and how he will build his barn because it is important to him. Just like he listens to me talk about how that annoying girl on the bachelor is still on the show.
  • Look for the good and your will find it. If he gave you flowers are you looking at the thorns or the roses?



If you are ever looking for something to spice things up check out Pure Romance Everything is confidential and you can go as sweet or as bold as you want!

14 comments:

  1. Obviously I am not perfect all the time but these are good goals for us all :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. - Nhạc Thành, ngươi để chúng ta giúp ngươi khống chế Cực Viêm Thiên hỏa, hóa ra là muốn vào đây luyện hóa nó, may mà chúng ta không rút lui.

      - Cực Viêm Thiên hỏa, đúng là bản thể của Cực Viêm Thiên hỏa.

      Nhìn ngọn lửa ở trên bệ đá, Long Dược cũng kinh ngạc mà nói.
      dongtam
      mu private
      tim phong tro
      http://nhatroso.com/
      nhac san cuc manh
      tổng đài tư vấn luật
      http://dichvu.tuvanphapluattructuyen.com/
      văn phòng luật
      tổng đài tư vấn luật
      dịch vụ thành lập công ty
      http://we-cooking.com/
      chém gió
      trung tâm ngoại ngữ
      - Đáng chết.

      Nhạc Thành chăm chú nhìn Thanh Sơn lão tổ và Long Dược, hắn không cần phải hỏi cũng biết hai người này.

      - Xoẹt xoẹt xoẹt.

      Đúng lúc này một tiếng xé gió truyền tới, ngay lập tức một đám thân ảnh xuất hiện bên cạnh Nhạc Thành, phía trước chính là đám người Trần Đào trưởng lão, sau lưng là Bàn Thiên Lão Ma, Kim Lão Quái, Vũ Văn Giác.

      - Tộc trưởng, không có chuyện gì chứ?

      Delete
  2. Thanks for linking up to Good Tips Tuesday!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Some great tips! My husband and I also don't purchase anything over $50 without talking to each other first. I loved how you said your husband gets a say in how many kids you'll have even though you're the one getting pregnant, just as you get a say in finances even though he's bringing home the paycheck. I had never thought of that and I like it! Great tips and some of them made me laugh! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Tiffany, I am glad you came by!

      Delete
  4. Love this and will put it to use. It's precious little gems like this that newlyweds like me need to put in a safe place, their hearts. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Jennifer WhitenackJuly 22, 2014 at 10:11 PM

    I love this! My hubby leased a car on his own a month after we were married. He drove up to my work with it, all excited. I thought he was joking, and just test driving it...until he showed me the papers. Being at work, I didn't know what to say. I told him I had to go back to work, and I would talk to him when I got home. Needless to say, that was the last time he signed a contract without me. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh man I would have been speechless! Definitely a learning moment for you guys though I am sure! haha

      Delete
  6. FYI, the Pure Romance link at the bottom of the article is broken. There's a dot (.) at the end of the URL that shouldn't be there.

    ReplyDelete

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