Anxiously ADD

It is common for people to pick on themselves. People with ADHD commonly say to themselves "Why did I do that?" "I am so stupid!" "How could I forget that?" And many more. We feel like everyone is seeing our faults, judging us, and they don't like us. Sadly most of the labels and negative perceptions we have about ourselves come from ourselves.

Why is this? Well ADD and ADHD in many cases don't come alone but they have a friend named anxiety. Many of us in fact are diagnosed with anxiety or depression first, especially women. I was 19 when I was first diagnosed with anxiety and it was only 7 1/2 years later that I was diagnosed with ADD.

Through the years I have tried to ignore my anxiety to be honest. Even when being told I had anxiety I was doubtful. Me? Anxious? Nah. One of my biggest strengths, or at least I think so, is the ability to be optimistic. In every situation I am looking for the good. Yet despite my best efforts to 'not' be anxious it has been a struggle through the years.

Yesterday in fact I gave myself another wound from picking at my skin. Instead of just picking myself apart from the inside I could see the sore from me picking at the outside too. I don't know why yesterday it suddenly hit me that I had a problem but with some searching I realized I am not alone.

So last night I nervously talked to my husband. It is embarrassing in fact to admit you struggle with anxiety but you also do something 'weird' like picking at your skin. When talking to him I realized the ways this has affected me, even more than just some unattractive marks on my face. I even pick at my feet causing myself to walk in pain for days only to do it again.

So now I begin my journey to acknowledge my anxiety and to find ways to cope and heal, from the inside and outside. I am hoping some natural steps like good food and exercise will get me to a good place but as always I know my doctor is there to help me as well. One step at a time, one day at a time. As always I think acknowledging our struggles and understanding them is the most powerful first step to coping and improving.

I will keep you updated! Do you have any tips or helpful suggestion? Pleas share! :)

Concentration is a gift

I was diagnosed with ADHD last year January. I have been on 54mg Concerta ever since. I am now 27 years old. I can't believe I spent nearly my whole life undiagnosed. Ever since the diagnosis and medication my life has changed drastically.

 I was one to have many projects underway but never ever have any of them complete. I could not concentrate, I was extremely impulsive with my decision making and it often landed me into some serious trouble. I was in addiction for 10 years. Depressed because I just "couldn't do anything right" or would "always give up". Having people tell me that I had so much potential but could never ever see anything through. I felt like a failure and turned to drugs to hide my shame.

 I have been clean since September 2014. I have been on Concerta for just over a year and everything has changed. From being someone who sat at home and did nothing to being a financial adviser for a financial services company. I can work full days and even put in the extra work, not because I am forced to but because I want to. I sit down and study because I want to absorb and learn. 

Concentration is a gift that is just over a year old for me and I am so fascinated with it. I can read books and no forget the story as I go. I can sit down and watch a movie and not get distracted. I love learning new things and am amazed at how smart I am. It is really awesome. I am so glad I have been diagnosed and have appropriate treatment. I don't just rely on Concerta. I have put in a lot of effort on my part, cognitive behavioral therapy as they say. I wake up and am excited. 

Concentration is incredible. I have found God with concentration because I can think and dwell on something instead of there being a million thoughts overpowering other thoughts. From sitting in church and listening, I became interested and came to believe in God and Jesus. Pretty cool. And I like having ADHD. I like being different.

-Steffin Theo Greyling

Getting help for our children

Amen. It's utterly ridiculous what we have to go through in order to get help for our children. Help; mind you, that's paid for by our taxes. Sadly they don't always want to do their job but yet my taxes still go to paying their salary! And I'm not talking about the teachers - sadly their hands are tied, too.

For FOUR years I've been telling special services my child is dyslexic and was told no, even after I presented them with testing from an outside source; I was told there are no signs of dyslexia. My child has struggled; thought of herself as different because she doesn't understand like other children; she's questioned her own intelligence; but thankfully my daughter is a FIGHTER! She's strong, hardworking, tenacious, last but not least.. She is smart! She's compensated, only someone intelligent can compensate so well she could fooled even a trained educational specialist.

In the 3rd grade, she compensated so well she managed to come off of her accommodations because she benchmarked her reevaluation; however, she kept her IEP due to speech accommodations.

4th grade was quite the transitional year for her. Very difficult - I begged and begged to put the accommodations back in place but to no avail because she benchmarked the previous year. Now understand from the beginning of August 2014 to February 2015, my daughter stayed with an F the entire time in Reading, literally, nothing but an F. The teachers tried to rally together to help but with each of the 3 teachers having 30 kids in the class you can imagine the help wasn't adequate and I was left with no other alternative but to drug my child.

In February 2015, we started our daughter on 20mgs of Vyvanse, moving up to 30mgs and now she's on 40mgs to help her. It helped but really, at what cost? My child suffers from stomach issues due to the medication and we have no clue what the long-term effect will be. 4th grade was such a struggle. I felt so useless to help my daughter. It was the worst feeling in the world to me; I felt as though I had failed my child even though she passed to the 5th grade, her self-confidence took a major hit.

As my daughter started the 5th grade; I was determined not to fail my child. I wanted to give her all the tools I could to help her succeed. She's on her 40mgs of Vyvanse, which does help with her ADD, no doubt! But she still struggled! So I started the year paying for a tutor 2 days a week for 2 hours each time, which has helped a lot. My child is doing well. I'm so happy for her! And I thought well maybe the testing for dyslexia was wrong.

So here we are, time for the annual IEP meeting. I'm thinking, easy meeting. None of me having to fight for accommodations because I went over their heads with medication and tutoring. This is her last year at this school and she'll move to a school that a lot of people around here want their child to attend due to their academic curriculum. We moved to this school zone specifically to get her in this school system. Again, I'm feeling great about the IEP meeting. My sweet girl is on honor roll and this is going to be easy! Wrong...

We are discussing where my daughter is currently and although she has an A in Reading; Reading is still such as hard subject for her. Another person enters this IEP. One that's been there before but only briefly to tell me my daughter shows no signs of dyslexia. She's the person that tested my daughter before or had a hand in her testing.

She tells me they are deeply concerned about my daughter. I said why? She said, we believe she meets 5 of the 6 criteria of dyslexia.

I mean, seriously? My mouth literally dropped. How do combat someone's inability to listen to the parent? Trust me, I've handled myself with poise, intellect, knowledge, and they've seen me more than my own sister has each year! I was never rude or ugly; I simply asked for help; backing up the need with outside testing as well as her scores within the school. I was prepared.

I literally cried. I realized a few things on this day:

1. I didn't fail my child; THEY did. My child struggled when she shouldn't have because they wouldn't do their job properly. 2. My child is the strongest, smartest, most tenacious person I know, and how extremely proud of her I am! 3. How much harder I should have fought for what I knew. If that's possible because I fought but I would have been there fighting more than I did. They would have seen me every time she had a failing grade! 4. I have to reiterate; I'm so proud of my daughter. She compensated because she's smart in spite of obstacles no one was willing to see that were in her way.

Sorry I was so long-winded- I just wanted to share our story in hopes to help other frustrated parents out there. Continue to be your child’s number 1 advocate; continue to go there until they listen to the person that is truly your child’s teacher; YOU! You know your child better than anyone and you need to make them understand that as long as your child struggles… you’re going to be right there, holding them accountable to do their job!

What NOT to do if your child has ADHD

What Not to Do If Your Child Has ADHD

When kids with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) become frustrated, struggle with school, fail to complete tasks, or meltdown, their parents become stressed and feel defeated as well. It can be difficult to know which direction to turn, and what to do to better manage your child’s ADHD symptoms. Sometimes, the best answer is to not do certain things. I hope the list below of actions to avoid will help you and your family have better days and nights.

Don’t Avoid the Term “ADHD”

Your child has a condition that affects her every day, just as a learning disability or physical disability would. By putting a name to the disorder and using the term “ADHD,” parents help their children Avoiding the term makes the child feel more like she has something wrong with her, which adds to the stigma associated with ADHD. Dr. Robert Olivardia, a psychologist who treats ADHD and is a clinical instructor in the department of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, cautions parents that “if you do not explain to them what ADHD is, someone else will.” Don’t ignore the ADHD or avoid talking about it; educate your child and help her to understand what ADHD is and how you will help her to manage living with it. Using the term gives your child some power over it. Recognize that their challenges and frustration are rooted in their disorder and are not their fault.

Don’t Focus on the Negative

A child with ADHD will hear enough “no,” “don’t,” and “can’t” for a lifetime. Don’t add to the negativity by making a lengthy list of don’ts for your home. Instead, work with your child to set goals for positive behavior. Then, track their progress in a place that’s easy for them to see—such as a chart that’s kept on the refrigerator. By giving them this positive focus, you can reinforce the good behaviors that will help them be successful at school and at home. 

And please replace "Don' Allow Certain Items in Your Child's Bedroom" with the following:

Don’t Allow Tech in Your Child’s Bedroom

Most kids these days are regularly glued to some form of technology—be it a smartphone, tablet, computer, or gaming system. Unfortunately, all that digital exposure can take its toll. The reality is today’s kids are overexposed to all those devices and glowing screens, and that overexposure can contribute to attention deficit issues. My advice is to keep them out of the bedroom. That’s a new rule we’ve implemented with my son, who was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and we’ve seen great results. He’s able to get calm and go into “bedtime” mode much more quickly at night and his overall quality of sleep has actually improved.

Don’t Fall Into the Trap of Implementing Diets That Eliminate Lots of Foods

Some parents of kids with ADHD may attempt to treat it with a special diet. Research does not support these radical diets, which completely cut out processed foods, food additives, fruits, and vegetables. There also is no research supporting the idea that diets eliminating aspartame, an artificial sweetener, or yeasts are effective in helping treat ADHD. Experts contend the best diet for a child with ADHD is the same as one for a child without ADHD: a diet that includes fruits, vegetables, and whole grains and avoids saturated fats and trans fats. It’s also important to limit carbohydrates that are digested quickly, such as those in processed and fast foods. And of course, all children need exercise and should maintain a healthy weight.

Don’t Make a Meltdown Worse By Responding When You are Angry

Handling an ADHD child’s meltdown is one of the toughest challenges a parent faces. Do not exacerbate a situation by responding to a meltdown or handing out unrealistic, inappropriate consequences for misbehavior when you are angry yourself. Parents should employ a time-out for their child to calm down and take time to calm down themselves before reacting inappropriately. It is better to collect yourself, get composed, and think clearly before responding, so that you are sure to react in a more accurate and appropriate way.

Don’t Try to Handle Everything On Your Own

One of the biggest mistakes parents of kids with make is trying to do it all. There are groups and professionals who can help you get more information and support so that you are better equipped for life with a child with ADHD. You especially should seek professional help if you are feeling depressed, frustrated, or exhausted. It also is important for all parents and caregivers, including grandparents, relatives, and babysitters, to work together to support the child. When everyone agrees on a behavior plan, routine, rewards, etc., it is much easier to handle your child’s behaviors and symptoms.

Of course, you’ll need to do what works best for your family situation and your child. But, by avoiding certain actions, you are taking the first step toward helping your child, your family, and yourself cope with ADHD in a more positive, healthy manner.

***

Vee Cecil keeps busy by being a wellness coach, personal trainer and bootcamp instructor in Kentucky. She also recently launched a blog where she shares her passion for health by writing about her favorite tips, activities and recipes.

**PHOTO CREDIT: Image via Flickr by chefranden**

Sweetly ADHD

I was able to attend parent teacher conference last night and while talking to the kindergarten teacher I heard "I have some concerns." which no mother wants to hear. I sat and listened to her talk to me about number recognition, remembering letters, and throughout the prominent word was 'concerned'. Then we talked about behavior and the mood brightened because I had a sweet daughter, kind, and worked hard to follow the rules.

I love that my daughter is sweet but why for some reason does academic struggle get erased because there is a 'good' child or a 'sweet' child. Suddenly those concerns were not a big deal anymore because she was not a behavior issue in the class. I had dejavu when I heard that phrase "We will just give it time, one day it just clicks with kids."

I heard these words often when my son struggled in kindergarten! The elusive one day when a child who is struggling goes from having a hard time to no problems at all. The teacher did say that perhaps she was having a hard time hearing or seeing. I brought up again that there is ADHD in our family. My son is diagnosed and so am I. For some reason thinking our child might have hearing problems seemed easier to think about.

I explained that we have seen many signs and symptoms that we have seen in her brother as well as I can relate to her struggle myself. We have had concerns about my daughter for a couple of years now. In fact what this teacher said was not much different than what her pre-school said to me including that one day it would 'click'.

Here is the problem here. For a child who has behavioral problems along with academic we feel a much greater need to help them and 'fix' the problem. My daughter is sweet so we can give it time. I had 27 years of time to not understand why I was struggling. 27 years where that moment never clicked and with each year came new challenges and struggle trying to figure out this world around me with the burning question always in the back of my mind..."What is wrong with me?" Nobody wondered why I was failing classes because I was sweet and didn't cause problems.

I don't blame them really because as a parent I find myself in the same situation. My husband and I both agree that we see a high possibility that my daughter has ADHD yet we feel hesitant to address the issue with medication. Why? Although you are not a bad person with ADHD it is a struggle, a struggle you live with forever. I think we both want to hold onto the elusive one day too.

I can't ignore the gut instincts I have as a mother anymore. I was a sweet girl but I didn't deserve to struggle in school, socially, and emotionally because of that. I could be sweet, want to listen, and want to impress my teachers all I wanted to but I needed help. We don't build houses with desire, we need the tools to do the job.

So now begins my journey helping my sweet little girl. She will not have to wait as long as I did for understanding!

Thriving with ADHD

 How to use the Thrive Q 

Grocery Shopping With ADHD

I have a problem when I go to the store.With ADHD I get kind of overwhelmed by all there is to see. I end up feeling like my attention is being pulled a million different ways and I spend way more money than I was planning on spending. Can you relate? This is why I started doing my grocery shopping online. I don't waste food or worry about forgetting to use it fast enough. I have less stress going shopping, and I save money! When you are interested in starting grocery shopping online for healthy, nutritious, and delicious food please visit laurastoker.thrivelife.com !

Neurotypical is Overrated!

     My little guy made me feel like I was doing something right the other day. I was doing some homework on my computer and he came over to kiss me on the cheek.He pats my head and he says, " Doing homework? You're doing a good job, focusing and working hard, my adhd mama" I laugh and I say, "yep, trying to get it done" He starts to walk away, only to turn around and proudly proclaim "And! You gave me ADHD! 'cause, I got it from you." He smiles.
      Such innocence. Oblivious to the stigma that this label has. I hope he never has to feel the shame that most of us experience. Yes, I have adhd. No, it's not easy. But it's a fact and I'm figuring out how to make life work in alliance with my brain rather than against it. Learning about how I think and why I think the way I do has helped gain such a different perspective and adjust plan of attack. Every day is a struggle. Some days better than others.
      This past week (among many other stresses) was one of those struggles. I had completely forgotten about my insurance auto renewal. It was to be drafted this month. Despite all my preventative systems to not forget stuff-- I received the scary warning email from my bank and the cloud of dread rushed in. Trigger that crisis mode super power from that totallyadd article. lol Ignoring the rising panic, my brain in super fast mode is thinking of ideas, ruling them out, finding others, where's the solution? There's one somewhere.

I spent three hours taking pictures of these clothes I had been meaning to list and sell, name brand junk, etc, etc. I've had them for..ever. Just never had the motivation to take the time to get rid of them. Well, motivation struck and poof, its done. Brain moves on to another possible solution...

Being neurotypical is overrated. Life is crazy and fun; a little bit scary and a whole lot unpredictable. Just like me. And I wouldn't change my story for the world. <3

 this was the article I was referring to: http://totallyadd.com/5-superpowers-of-adhd/ 

"15 Things I Want You to Know About ADHD"

Guest Post by Sadie!

1. Not every person born with ADHD is the same. It’s a condition of the brain which means there are going to to be similar symptoms, but also big differences. Think of it this way. Not everyone gets sick with a cold in the same exact way, even though it might be the same cold virus which makes them sick. So just because your husband has ADHD doesn’t mean you know how I learn, think, or act. And just because you read this list, doesn’t mean you know every person with ADHD and everything that ADHD does.

2. ADHD doesn’t stop in the classroom for most people. It’s a lifelong condition for a lot of people, and it changes throughout life. It’s something which impacts every part of my life. I may have trouble holding up conversations. I may have trouble getting to places on time. I may have trouble with tasks which are incredibly simple. I may not be able to watch a movie fully.

3. I outgrew my hyperactivity and I am lucky I did. Hyperactivity is a huge part of ADHD, but it isn’t mandatory for everyone to be that way. Just because I don’t have one of the symptoms of ADHD doesn’t mean I am not ADHD. Trust me, I’ve been tested and tested again. I am definitely ADHD. There are different kinds of ADHD though. Some people might be hyper, some people just simply can’t focus, and some people have a combination of both. See 1 if you have any more questions.

4. Sometimes my mouth moves before my brain fully knows what it’s going to say. I have been working on this my whole life, and I really struggle with it.  It is so important to look at the WHY I am saying something rather than the what I am saying. I usually have very good intentions, I just didn’t say it exactly how I wanted too.

5. I’m not stupid. I can’t say this enough. I am not stupid at all. Chances are, I am smarter than you. However, sometimes things don’t click immediately for me, or I miss key points in a conversation and I want clarification or to double check. Somethings I might have to review over again just to understand.

6. Remember Dory from Finding Nemo? I feel like her a lot. My Short Term Memory isn’t always the best. If you’re giving me a task, it’s best to break it down and to give me a list so I can see what I have to do. This will keep me from becoming overwhelmed. Oh, and it’s just my Short Term Memory really. I can remember other things perfectly, including conversations from years ago.

7. Sometimes I am going to be random when having a conversation. To me, it’s not random though, it makes perfect sense. While you are talking, I either am engaged in the conversation (rarely), trying to catch up with what I missed (usually), or making connections to what you are saying (all the time). For example, if we are talking about ADHD, and I bring up how I was bitten by a squirrel when I was 8, it actually makes sense to me. I am thinking about ADHD which then makes me think about the meme about ADHD and squirrels, and then about squirrels and previous experiences I had with them and how it’s funny. This is done in seconds. I’m not trying to change the conversation, I’m just trying to contribute.

8. I can be moody. It’s actually a part of ADHD. My brain doesn’t see it as moody though, it sees it as completely normal. I also don’t always realize I am being moody. Don’t be afraid to say something to me if you see this. I don’t mean to be that way.

9. I can be lazy, just like you. But most of the time I’m trying my hardest. If something is difficult for me, please try to help me. Sometimes it’s just something as silly as making a cue card for me to follow along. If I’m hesitant to start something, it’s usually not because I am being lazy, but rather I don’t know where to start, or I’m afraid I won’t do it correctly. Though not everyone may agree, I will take the help if it is simply offered.

10. I’m not good with time management. I really try, but it is hard to be at one place at a certain time. My brain doesn’t process time well at all. I can’t tell if a minute has passed or an hour. Personally, I thrive with schedules and timers. Some people can’t function if they are in a routine.

11. Please don’t tell me what causes my ADHD, or that it doesn’t exist. Some people may use their ADHD as an excuse, but I don’t. Also, ADHD does exist, and it does impact my life. I have tried the diets, I have changed my entire life around, I have tried every remedy in the book. Some helped, but only minutely. What does help are stimulants (at least for me). They calm me down, put the world to a speed which just makes sense. I don’t question it, but I know there is a difference when I take my medicine. This isn’t always the case from person to person though.

12. I can focus on video games and sit at the computer all day, but a book can take three weeks for me to read. Why? Some things just grab my brain. Other things don’t and I have to really try to focus. And it can be painful.

13. I’ve tried to be organized. I try my hardest at what I do. Sometimes my brain just forgets to organize or to completely finish something because I get distracted and completely forget what I am doing. And when I try to tell my brain to focus, it gets even more difficult for me to sit and finish what I am doing.

14. Sometimes simple tasks can be very overwhelming to me. There are times where I get anxious because I am overloaded by all the information which I am perceiving. Being at the supermarket when it is crowded is hard for me. Trying to focus in on one thing when people are having conversations around me is impossible. I just hear white noise.

15. I’m very impulsive. I have been working on my impulsivity my entire life. I have tried my hardest to change this, and it has gotten much better with time, but I still struggle with it. Unless you are going to offer me advice that I can actually apply, please don’t. I try to think before I do. Sometimes it doesn’t work that way. The whole think before you act advice does not work.

ADHD isn’t going to be the same in each person. Just because you met one person with ADHD doesn’t mean you know what it does or how it feels. Some people might have ADHD and think this list is not true at all. Others may be upset I didn’t put things which affect them. ADHD is more severe in some people than it is in others. I personally struggle socially. Some people don’t. I don’t have as much trouble with time management. Most people with ADHD do. Some people don’t have have any sensory issues. I do. When working with someone with ADHD, whether it be an employee, a co-worker, a student, or a friend, be understanding of their needs. Be firm and direct when giving direction. Be supportive and forgiving. And most importantly of all, get to know the people for who they are, don’t just label them as ADHD.

You can read more at sadienoelle.wordpress.com

Matt Walsh might have ADHD

I recently read a post written by Matt Walsh claiming if ADHD was real then he would have it. He then explained why it was not real. I am no doctor and I have no idea if Matt has ADHD but I do know my son and I do. 

I have been in Matt’s shoes before thinking ADHD was not real. Especially because I grew up with the symptoms it makes ADHD adults less likely to see ADHD as a real disorder when in our minds it is like “So… doesn’t everyone do these things?” We are so use to these ‘struggles’ that it seems like the natural way things are. 

Especially knowing ADHD is genetic we are usually surrounded by family with these same unique struggles making it seem even more like the ‘norm’. 

I finally reached a point where I noticed not everyone was struggling like me despite my best efforts to overcome my symptoms. I wanted to succeed, I had the desires, but I always felt like I was coming up short on what I could be. Instead of asking “Doesn’t everyone do these things?” I started asking “Who does this?” 

The more I tried to be an active parent for my kids I realized I was different. In not every way bad but the struggles were obvious. I felt disorganized, spacey, and unprepared most of the time.

When my son was diagnosed and all the parents had routines, organization, structures in place I felt overwhelmed and incapable for helping my child the way I desperately wanted.

I started counseling only to forget appointments or be late even when just a few hours before I remembered my appointment but somehow the thoughts vanished and were overtaken by the more interesting tasks around me. I hated being that person and it was then my counselor said “Laura, you are flying by the seat of your pants”. It was the ‘wake up’ call I needed to acknowledge I am struggling and I needed help, if not for me then for my family.

Really I don’t need Matt Walsh or anyone else to tell me ADHD is real. I have seen it first hand when my son was diagnosed and I have felt it my whole life. I have also seen the success that can come from the help my son and I have received and that gives me the strength to move forward when others try to push me down.

Make a Difference!

Ever since I was diagnosed (I'm 22 and diagnosed about 6 or 7 months ago) I've learned a lot about myself and about ADHD. I have started doing a lot of reflection and deeper thinking about what is going on. I want to be able to understand what is happening and why my brain does things differently. One of the most important things I learned while working with kids is to really take a look at what their doing and why they are having the reaction they are having. For a while I was working with students who every morning had to practice handwriting by copying their name over and over. At first I was thinking 'this is easy, why don't they just do it' and then one day it hit me right in the face that this was the most boring, unexciting, non challenging work ever! And I thought about myself, and my mom had shared with me that when I was in first grade she told my teacher that I hated doing the spelling homework because it was boring, and I saw myself in those kids and felt so much more connected. I think that for parents of ADHD children taking a moment to really look at what is being asked of the child, whether it's everyday things, chores, homework or anything else. I know sometimes patience has become thin but if even one time you were able to see through there eyes it might make a great difference!

EmpowerPlus Q96

I’m 45 and just this year (2014) I found out what has been a major road block for me that has in many ways held me back for my entire life. I never knew what it was but I knew something was different in the way I functioned. I could never explain what was going on other than I felt shut down most of the time. I knew what I wanted in life but I could never seem to obtain it. I was doing ok, but I knew I could do much better.

I was always bouncing from one thing to another, I found it very difficult to do tedious things, I couldn’t stay focused on a task long enough to do it effectively and often couldn’t do it at all. I would get bored quickly and because of that I went through many different jobs. I never got fired, just bored to a point that I would just quit and move on to something else.

Sleep was something that was very difficult for me. I would usually stay up until 1-2am and then have to deal with being so tired the next day. I just couldn’t seem to turn off my brain at night and most of the time I would just sit and watch TV in an attempt to drown out the never ending activity in my head. It was exhausting! Yet I still couldn’t sleep. I won’t even go into how I was just mean and irritated all the time.

There’s more to the story but I think you get the idea.

I have WHAT! 

So one day I’m on the phone with a friend that I had just met the year before, we were talking about this and that and a project we were thinking of working on together and I must have been going off on a tangent because he stopped me in the middle of a sentence and said, “Mike, have you ever thought that you might have ADHD?” I said “What?” and immediately thought “Is he talking about that excuse that parents use when they can’t get their kid to behave?” but what I said to him was “No, why?” He responded by asking me several questions to which I mostly responded yes, he then said that he thought I was probably ADHD and that I should see a Doctor. What! Are you kidding me? How would you even know if I had ADHD, I thought. So, I asked him and as it turns out he was diagnosed as an adult with ADHD. We talked more about it and what it “looked” like and I decided to go ahead and check it out.

Sure enough, after the doc tested me his response was “Wow, I’m impressed”, as in you have really high scores and you really have it in a big way. Oh no! Now what?, I thought and then the conversation went to what medicine to start with and how much to take and what to expect and what to do after that and etc, etc, etc…. So I picked up my first prescription of Adderall from the pharmacy on the way home and I was off.

There's gotta be a better way...

I didn’t like it…. It was expensive, especially the extended release formula and I didn’t like the way it made me feel. I ended up with the regular type because of the cost so I had to remember to take it twice a day and if I took it too late I couldn’t sleep (so problem not solved in that category) and I just didn’t like the idea of putting man made chemicals in my body every day, twice a day.

A good friend.

Anyway, in an effort to keep a long story short (too late, right) I’ll get to the point. About two months later I told another friend of mine about my diagnosis and she told me to stop by because she had something she wanted to give me. I stopped by that day and she told how her daughter had just kind of dropped out of life and had turned into a sulky person who didn’t want to leave her room and was missing school and friends and life basically. I was intrigued because I had days like that sometimes. She also told me about a friend of hers that was a wife and mother who had been diagnosed with several things including ADHD and was on several different meds but she still wasn’t functioning like she wanted to. She wouldn’t leave her house, hadn’t done laundry in a long time and just wasn’t able to be a mom to her kids or a good wife to her husband. Ok, these weren’t exactly the same as what I was dealing with but parts of each of their stories sounded similar to mine. She told me that both of them had been taking something new from QSciences called EmpowerPlus Q96 and that both of them were greatly improved and both were functioning like they should and back to living life.

She helped me understand that many issues can be helped by getting proper nutrients through the blood brain barrier and to the brain. The brain is obviously the most important part of us and if we aren’t able to take care of it properly it isn’t going to function properly. Meds are designed to help our bodies do something that, for whatever reason, it isn’t doing properly, so I figured that if there was a way to get whatever my brain needed into my body in the right way then I wanted to know more. I’m not going to try to explain how it all works here but I’ll give you some links below.

I'll never be without it again.

All I knew is, I wanted to try whatever they were doing and I’m really glad I did. I notice a difference in my daily life and the daily lives of my family. I am able to focus better, stay on task better, I am sleeping very well and even dreaming now, which tells me I’m getting a deep REM sleep and I can’t remember a period of sleeping deeply enough to have really good dreams. I’m calmer during the day now too. 

The big clincher for me though and the reason I will probably never be without this product again is the reaction from my family. I know that living with me has not been easy for my wife and four kids and it pains me to know what they have gone through while having me as a part of their daily lives. They like me much more now and want to actually spend time in the same room with me.

I did stop taking the product for a time because I wanted to try something else and they could definitely tell that I had stopped taking it. I also noticed that things got more tense in our relationships and that they were starting to spend more time in other parts of the house, away from me. I’m back to taking care of myself and we are all better off.

Now what

I most likely sent you this to you after we chatted either in person or online, or you may have spoken with my wife. You may see some similarities between my story and your own but either way I encourage you to dig a little deeper into the links and gather some information for yourself so you can decide if you want to give it a try. I will say this, I have seen people use it and I have heard good results from them. I have experienced good results myself and I believe that this is the way for me to live a more “normal” life and be in a much better place for myself and my family without pumping medication into my body. 

I am more than willing to answer questions and offer any guidance that I can to help you. Just keep in touch by emailing me here. I’m glad you took the time to read about my experience and I truly hope it’s been helpful.

Thanks

Mike Webb

See more from Mike HERE

ADHD in Church

I wrote a talk that I was able to share to my church today. I thought I would share with all of you since a big part of it was ADHD related. Many people were very loving and kind and a woman came up to me after saying her and her son were diagnosed as well. It is never easy telling people I have ADHD but it is worth it....

Today I would like to talk about gratitude; more specifically how I am grateful for the trials I have seen in my life whether physical, emotional, mental, or financial.

Elder M. Russell Ballard talks about his experience saying “Recently, a friend of mine took his son on a trip down the Colorado River through Cataract Canyon, located in southeastern Utah. The canyon is famous for its 14 miles of white-water rapids that can be particularly hazardous.

At the beginning of the trip, one of the experienced river guides reviewed important safety instructions, emphasizing three rules that would ensure the group’s safe travel through the rapids. “Rule number one: stay in the boat! Rule number two: always wear a life jacket! Rule number three: always hold on with both hands!” He then said again, with even more emphasis, “Above all, remember rule number one: stay in the boat!”

This adventure reminds me of our mortal journey. Most of us experience periods in our lives where the tranquil waters of life are appreciated. At other times, we encounter white-water rapids that are metaphorically comparable to those found in the 14-mile stretch through Cataract Canyon—challenges that may include physical and mental health issues, the death of a loved one, dashed dreams and hopes, and—for some—even a crisis of faith when faced with life’s problems, questions, and doubts.

The Lord in His goodness has provided help, including a boat, essential supplies such as life jackets, and experienced river guides who give guidance and safety instructions to help us make our way down the river of life to our final destination.” end quote.

I know I have seen many experiences in my life where Heavenly Father has made sure I have instructions, a life jackets, or a helping hand.

A year and a half ago I was pregnant expecting our sixth baby, Ryder. On top of being very huge, tired, and sore we were preparing to move to Idaho and have Russell start school. We decided to move in two trips and on the first load we thought it would be smart to move all of our furniture. I was due in just a couple of weeks but for some reason sending all of our couches and chairs away did not worry me at all.

I quickly found out that the discomfort of pregnancy was amplified greatly by only being able to sit on the floor. To put it bluntly I was not very happy and actually in a lot of pain.

A good friend found out our situation and brought over a nice, comfy, padded rocking chair. It was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. I ended up sitting more and packing for our move less every day.

I was due the same day we planned to move. Ryder did not want to wait that long though because two days before we were going to move we had a small scare that encouraged me to go to the hospital and have our baby.

I was not prepared. My house was a complete mess, there was tons of packing left to do, and I was overwhelmed. I would not recommend moving and having a baby at the same time.

Alison Palmer says “None of us likes to admit that we are unable to help ourselves. Usually the need for help comes in times of crisis or change in our lives. The changes may be brief or long lasting, but they require an adjustment that makes it difficult or impossible to fulfill our responsibilities. These are the times when we ask for help.” end quote.

While I was in the hospital enjoying my new baby I found out that my good friends in the Relief Society joined together to clean, do my laundry, pack, and organize my house. I wanted to be embarrassed by how much was not done but I knew I needed help and I had to humble myself to accept their service.

Ether 12:27 says: “I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”

I am so grateful I had good friends who were there for me without judgement and full of love and support. Looking back now I know I could not have done that move alone.

Last year we experienced a very hard emotional and mental trial. My son Bryan was having a really hard time in school and at home. There were big problems making it hard for our family to be happy. I felt like a bad mom because I could not help my son, and I felt huge amounts of guilt that I must have gone wrong somewhere as a mother. Our family reached our breaking point where we finally sought medical help with our situation and we were able to find out Bryan has Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder also known as ADHD.

While talking with our doctor we found there were many options that we could pursue to help Bryan. Talking to our doctor was one of the best choices we have made for our family.

Elder Holland said this about  mental illness or emotional disorders “If things continue to be debilitating, seek the advice of reputable people with certified training, professional skills, and good values. Be honest with them about your history and your struggles. Prayerfully and responsibly consider the counsel they give and the solutions they prescribe. If you had appendicitis, God would expect you to seek a priesthood blessing and get the best medical care available. So too with emotional disorders. Our Father in Heaven expects us to use all of the marvelous gifts He has provided in this glorious dispensation.” end quote

I am so grateful for the help we have found for Bryan. I love seeing him happy, successful, and accepted.

After finding help for my son I felt this growing need to understand my own personal struggles. I found myself struggling with depression and feeling worthless. It seemed no matter how hard I tried I could never do all that I wanted to do. I was unorganized and emotional. I was living with great amounts of anxiety because of things I would forget despite my best efforts, important meetings, bills, or worse when I would let my kids down forgetting my activities with them.

Everyone told me it was okay and it was normal to struggle with six kids but I knew it was something more. I was not functioning the way I knew I should be able to. I searched, I prayed, and it was then while searching for information to help Bryan that I came across Adult ADHD symptoms. The struggles I have experienced my whole life suddenly made sense.

I wasn’t crazy, I was not alone, and there was help available for me. I felt a huge amount of relief and understanding. You would think after seeing my doctor for my son it would be easy for me to see him for my own struggles but I was scared. I was worried I would be judged and that people would think I could not be a good mom if I had Attention Deficit Disorder.

Elder Holland Says: “I wish to speak to those who suffer from some form of mental illness or emotional disorder, whether those afflictions be slight or severe, of brief duration or persistent over a lifetime. We sense the complexity of such matters when we hear professionals speak of neuroses and psychoses, of genetic predispositions and chromosome defects, of bipolarity, paranoia, and schizophrenia. However bewildering this all may be, these afflictions are some of the realities of mortal life, and there should be no more shame in acknowledging them than in acknowledging a battle with high blood pressure or the sudden appearance of a malignant tumor.” end quote

I knew I needed help for myself and my family so I went to see my doctor. It was last January when I was diagnosed with ADHD. I could never express fully the gratitude I feel for the help my son and I have received. We have grown leaps and bounds and our lives are better because of it.

Lastly I would like to talk about financial trials.

Last week Russell and I thought there was a chance we could move into a nicer home for our kids. We were excited about the idea until suddenly it did not work out. I was devastated. I became tired and weary of working so hard and sacrificing so much to get Russell through school. It felt as if our time to thrive financially would never come.

President Thomas S. Monson says “When we encounter challenges and problems in our lives, it is often difficult for us to focus on our blessings. However, if we reach deep enough and look hard enough, we will be able to feel and recognize just how much we have been given.” end quote.

I know together as a family we can make any place a home. It is when I remember how grateful I am for our home, for Russell’s education, for our kids, and for our marriage that I find happiness and peace.

Satan wants us to believe we do not have enough. He wants us to focus on what we do not have because then we become selfish and unhappy just as he is.

I fell into that trap of despair. Elder Uchtdorf says “Everyone’s situation is different, and the details of each life are unique. Nevertheless, I have learned that there is something that would take away the bitterness that may come into our lives. There is one thing we can do to make life sweeter, more joyful, even glorious.

We can be grateful!

It might sound contrary to the wisdom of the world to suggest that one who is burdened with sorrow should give thanks to God. But those who set aside the bottle of bitterness and lift instead the goblet of gratitude can find a purifying drink of healing, peace, and understanding.” end quote.

This last week I had to make a hard choice and quit a small part time job I had. It made it possible for us to have a little more material possessions but Russell and I felt it was not very good for our kids.

The next day after quitting my job I was discouraged and wondering if I made the right choice. Then through the day I saw my kids thriving and I could see their happiness with our new change. I knew Heavenly Father was helping me see I made the right choice.

President Thomas S. Monson said “Do material possessions make us happy and grateful? Perhaps momentarily. However, those things which provide deep and lasting happiness and gratitude are the things which money cannot buy: our families, the gospel, good friends, our health, our abilities, the love we receive from those around us. Unfortunately, these are some of the things we allow ourselves to take for granted.” end quote.

Brothers and sisters this Thanksgiving I encourage you to look through your trials and see the blessings you have in your life. I know that they are there and that Heavenly Father is aware of all of us and is aware of our struggles. He gives us so much to be grateful for and we can find peace and happiness when we remember all we have been given.