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Sunday, October 19, 2014

I won't Apologize for ADHD

My 9 yr old son has ADHD. He was diagnosed at age six. His mind doesn’t work exactly the same way yours and mine do. He is not always in control of what he does and what he says. My son is a bright, beautiful boy. He has such a HUGE heart. He tells us he loves us 100 times a day. He gives the best monkey hugs. He has empathy like I’ve never seen before in a child. He loves babies and puppies and new life. He is extremely animated and hysterically funny. He is wicked smart and tests off the charts in math, reading and spelling. He was born to play hockey. He asks a million questions a day – always thriving for knowledge. He is compassionate, sweet, kind, loyal, considerate and polite. He’s a bit socially awkward – something we work on every single day. He doesn’t always think about the consequences of his actions but it’s not to be malicious. He doesn’t understand why he does the things he does sometimes. He is constantly adjusting and learning new ways to cope in this world. We are doing our best to raise both of our children to be well-rounded, open-minded, independent, and caring people.

I’m tired of feeling like I should apologize to people who don’t understand my son. Who don’t care to understand kids with ADHD (or any other disorder). I can’t crawl into the close-minded, small world you live in. I don’t want to. If you are not willing to wrap your brain around the world you live in, the world your children live in, there is nothing I can do for you. It’s not my job to open your eyes. My child will do that for you. He will grow up and do amazing things with his life because he was loved, he was encouraged, he was shown that, no matter what, you can do anything you put your mind to. As a parent, that is my job: to take care of my children – to love them, to guide them, to teach by example, to learn from mistakes, to grow, to support, and to inspire. Do I wish that my son didn’t have ADHD? I can’t really say – I’ve only ever known him as he is. I wouldn’t change a thing about him or his life just to make it easier for you. I love all of his bits and pieces – I love the whole of him. Exactly as he is. Please don’t make me feel like it’s an inconvenience for YOU that my child was BORN with ADHD. He didn’t choose it, but he is dealing with it – I suggest you do the same.


PS: Our son is on medication and it's made ALL the difference for him and our family!! We struggled with the decision to put him on meds but after we saw the results, we knew we made the right choice for him. He is thriving in every way!!

11 comments:

  1. Terrific! You've decided you won't apologise for your dumpling behaving like a terror.

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    1. Hope this was ment to be a nice comment

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    2. I never stated that my "dumpling" behaves like a terror. I merely stated that there is a lack of understanding for children with ADHD and for the parents of children with ADHD and what they endure on a daily basis. If my son behaves in a manner that warrants an apology, I am the first in line. I will not apologize for the fact that my son has ADHD. We do everything possible to help him cope and function with his disorder. He'll be a better "dumpling" for it!

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  2. I feel like you just described my son. He was diagnosed a few weeks ago and just started meds two days ago. Hoping we see some positive results.

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    1. Same here,my daughter is on Adderall 5mg

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    2. Hoping for positive results for both of your children! My son is on Focalin and it has made ALL the difference in the world. It's like meds gave me my son back!

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  3. This hit home for me,my daughter is 8 and she just got diagnosed last Thursday. I've been dealing with many negative comments on my decision to put her on meds and since I've seen a improvement in her work.Thanks for this,i.shared on FB for family to see and hopefully read.

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    1. Do not second guess yourself because of what others believe is right or wrong for YOUR child. You know what is best for your kiddo. It's not an easy decision but, ultimately, your child is the one that is suffering if you don't do everything you can to help them. Meds can help not only your child but, your entire family dynamic! Trust your gut! :)

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  4. I loved this. My 9 year old has ADHD. Some days are so hard I just want to cry. Other days he is such a sweet boy. He loves others like I've never seen before. He has even defended kids that pick on him because he doesn't want them to be punished. This article really hit home. I don't want to apologize for my son having ADHD. He is living life working twice as hard to do things that come naturally to us. If someone doesn't like his honesty don't ask him questions or the nervous ticks he gets, the was he fidgets, then don't look. Don't try and make my child feel bad or make me feel like a bad mother. I'm tired of hearing that all kids with ADHD need is a good whipping. No I will not hit my child. I've learned that the more love and support I show him the better results I get from him. If things are hard for me as his mother, I can only imagine how hard it is for him.

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    1. I love your post Cris T. When you mentioned defending other children...I have one as well. It would make me sad when he did that, as I wanted him to feel his value. I believe that he will have to learn to live and do what he needs to do for himself in his own way....with my love and support. Thanks for the post.

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Our ADHD Story is a place where people can share their stories, thoughts, and feelings about ADHD. Get past the generic list of symptoms and see how it is affecting people in real life through personal stories. We are not here to inform you, we are here to engage you.