As I sit there I look at all the buttons and gadgets all to control the huge beast I call a Suburban. It smells like old fry sauce and gasoline. I already feel sick. I turn the key into the ignition and hear it angrily roar to life. He is hungry and will not cooperate unless fed. I pull out onto the predetermined path laid out in front of me by gravel and tar.
When I pull into my beasts feeding station I know all of the dangers ahead of me. I make sure to leave my cell phone in him and take the key out of the ignition. I touch a few metal objects on my way to the pump to ensure that a spark of electricity does not threaten to disintegrate me. I don’t know what is worse the cost of his breakfast or knowing the dangers in getting it. I fill him up to delay his next feeding.
I get back in and look into his rib cage at my precious cargo strapped in without a care in the world. Riding in the beast does not faze my six children. When we start to move again he feels sloshy and almost drunk. Slowly we make our way up to the four lane circus called a highway. I watch carefully examining my chance at joining. This feels like a sick game of Russian Roulette. I pull the trigger and I have made it through once again but I wonder when my luck may run out.
I look to watch the painted lines placed as useless barriers and try to stay on my side. I am aware of the others next to me and hear their groans. I feel squished between the lines as if my beast is the obese man looking for clothes in the junior section.
I am coming to a green light and my anxiety builds because green lights are more fickle than a sixteen year old girl on a date. I have to decide if I should slow down and prepare for it to turn red or hope for the best and try to make it through. I start to think I have a chance but it turns red and I have just enough time to stop.
My children consider this the starting line for a new race. When the light turns green they see the beast as a race car and me incapable of accessing all of its speedy powers. My odds usually aren’t good and this time is no exception; I lose badly. Before the disappointment can kick in I pull into our destination full of ice cream, french fries, and a play place. I am the hero, we made it and our award awaits us.