Overachieving ADHD

The bipolar, major depressive ADHD one... overachiever, fear of failure and no one can tell. The mask has been firmly attached for over 30 years..I'm now 47. onto my 3 rd psych who is finally digging deep enough so we can work on meds that work. I am exhausted playing the charade of normalcy...I'm an expat as well, so being in a foreign culture has its own drawbacks...Aussie, then Indonesia for 3 yrs and now Turkey for 2 so far. 

Compulsive shopper, get bored easily, don't stay in a job for more than 2 yrs cos I provide solutions but maintaining them is boring. i have been a research scientist...never submitted ½ finished PhD thesis in mineral chemistry cos i got bored), sales, recruitment then HR. now studying psychology - i believe I can make a contribution by servicing other expats in whichever country we are living in. 

Keeping it together for my daughters sake, let the mask slip slightly with my husband of 27 yrs and finally last week took it off at the psychs. my sisters are bipolar and major depressive, my mother is totally manic. have developed arrhythmia due to meds, so now experimenting to see what I can take in combination to treat all of the above and not have a attack or kill my liver, also have hypertension to throw in the mix. I am a practicing Buddhist (Vajriana - Tibetan) which is very cognitive based. hoping to one day have a normal "base line" and experience joy again!

Veronica Howes