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Monday, May 19, 2014

Restless legs or ADHD?

This is my first time on an airplane. I am nervous but really excited for something new and different. The first plane fly's for an hour and I meet someone on the airplane and we talk the whole way. Then the layover and I am not prepared for what comes next because next is the airplane that will take me 4 hours until I reach my destination. I am alone this time and no friendly face to talk to.

4 hours may seem like no big deal but when I sit there the quiet takes over and I realize I have to stay in one place for 4 hours, not just any place but a very quiet and boring place in the same seat looking at the same seat in front of me.  

My feet have been antsy before but nothing like what I am about to experience. I want to move so badly it hurts and honestly my whole body is fighting me to stay in that chair. I literally want to scream. Maybe I am having a panic attack ,I am not sure but I am very stressed out. I can’t read my book, I can’t daydream, I can’t take myself out of this chair. All I can think about it being stuck and not being able to go anywhere.

I HAVE to move and so I go to the bathroom the first chance I get. I take my time and breath deeply to try and calm myself.

When I told my doctor I think I have ADD I made sure he knew it was not ADHD only ADD because I am not hyperactive. I guess I felt better about myself feeling like I had some control and was not as bad as I could be. A hyperactive adult? What does that even look like?

Then one day I told my doctor my little secrets that when I can’t escape with my daydreams I have learned ways to cope with being hyperactive. For example I count on my fingers tapping them in rhythm and saying “2,4,5” in my head. I open and close lip gloss in my pocket, or I tap my feet to a certain sequence.

I struggle at movie theaters I end up walking around outside needing a drink, bathroom, refill… even to the point where I went and sat in my car. It can be worse when I am tired and have no more patience left to give. I want to move or go to sleep and my legs make me want to scream until I give them one or the other. Long car rides can feel excruciating.

Before my diagnosis I wondered if it was restless legs but I honestly look back now and I see it as my ADHD. Yes me a 27 year old woman has Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder.

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Our ADHD Story is a place where people can share their stories, thoughts, and feelings about ADHD. Get past the generic list of symptoms and see how it is affecting people in real life through personal stories. We are not here to inform you, we are here to engage you.