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Wednesday, July 2, 2014

ADHD is Varied

I don’t think some realize how varied ADHD is and while diet/discipline/structure is good (for any kid) and its GREAT if it works for yours, most need something more because their brain lacks the ability to produce/regulate the chemicals it needs to function. I grew up with an undiagnosed dad. he had a violent temper and after he was diagnosed (I was 11) and got meds and counseling it was shocking to see the difference in him. He told me that when he threw a fit, afterwards with all the adrenaline in his system, it was the only time he felt "right" and could see solutions he couldn't before and it was like the fog lifted for that brief moment. Think about that. If I can give my kids medication to lift the fog and make them feel normal on a regular bases they won't have to throw tantrums or engage in risky behaviors for the feel good chemicals most get just by being alive.

We were very against meds and have been trying alternatives but as our daughter gets older and puberty/teenager is coming up fast we decided to look at medications as she has some behaviors like lying and attraction to anything inappropriate as well as easily swayed by pressure that are very concerning. And I have the sweetest brother in jail because of similar issues (unmedicated) who had expressed fear at his impulse issues shortly before his jail stunt (mostly peer pressure). And he counsels me with my kids

We use the oils. actually have had success but its just not enough. It makes living with the kiddos tolerable but I couldn't send daughter to school and lately haven’t been able to even get through the school basics at home. Its transitioning from the major tantrums to more all the time issues.

For me school was a breeze but I always struggled a bit with depression that got worse with mommyhood and depression drugs made it so much worse. Then my brother mentioned how his ADD meds helped his depression so I talked to the doc and he did a checklist and prescribed me drugs (you may gasp at that diagnostic laziness but my doc was also my family's doc and ADHD is all over in it and he knew it). And WOW! Not only did it ease depression but calmed my anxiety and lifted a brain fog I didn’t even know was there! I can pay bills on time and remember appointments and feel up for outings and its awesome.

I  think it is SUPER important to realize there are many different symptoms and degrees of ADHD and just because YOU chose to go a "natural" route doesn't mean your method would work on another child as cause and severity and personality all differ. And just because you chose to medicate doesn't mean you didnt try hard enough or parent good enough. What I would hope is that each parent councils with their support system and do what they believe will help THEIR child the most. And this really is what I would say everyone here is doing. Instead of saying "you should do..." share what worked for your child and why you chose it for your family.

its about what is best for your child. Some tried meds and it didn't work. Some feel like they missed out because of how helpful the meds were after they get them as an adult and they don’t want that for other kids is all. I didn’t need meds growing up but I do as an adult BUT I strongly believe if my parents had stuck it out and found a med that worked for my brother he wouldn't be in prison. Hes a good kid with impulse issues and that need to please peers. I have 2 other brothers who self medicated with alcohol and tobacco (mostly) and are now trying to undo that damage (for wife/kids). And I am married to a man who was medicated 5-18 and now isn't (but it would make MY life easier if he were).

I guess what Im saying is, there is too much variation to judge anothers choices. too much we don’t know or can’t see and we should be sharing our personal experiences to help others make those choices and supporting each other no matter the choice made.

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Our ADHD Story is a place where people can share their stories, thoughts, and feelings about ADHD. Get past the generic list of symptoms and see how it is affecting people in real life through personal stories. We are not here to inform you, we are here to engage you.