Search This Blog

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Understanding me and my ADHD.

Understanding me and my ADHD. 

ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. But really I like calling it ADHPT Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Personality Type. Because to me it's not a disorder. To me it's part of my personality and who I am. And it really exists and it goes way beyond losing your keys a few times a year. 

Some things I hope people understand. 

Note: I am medicated for it. That's why it almost never seems like I actually have it. 

1) MY MIND NEVER SHUTS UP
My brain goes about a million miles per minute and I'm constantly have at least 20 things on my mind. All at once
2) SIMPLE DIRECTIONS ARE BETTER
Because if you try to tell me five different ways how to get there I'll never get it 
3) I DISLIKE BEING WATCHED WHAT I AM DOING 
Don't watch me on my phone or my iPod or read over my shoulder because I will stop what I'm doing 
4) I AM AN EMPATH
I can feel what you're feeling. I know if you're not okay if you say you are. I also know sympathy well
5) FACEBOOK HELPS ME
Ironic I know.  But when I check Facebook it clears my mind 
6) THINGS TAKE ME FOREVER TO DO
Two reasons: one I procrastinate. A lot. And two I need a block of time before I actually start
7) BASIC THINGS TAKE ME FOREVER 
Making my bed: no never happening who has time for that
Counting things: "did I say six already? Better start again"
Math: three tries and a different answer every time 
8) IF I SAY I LOVE YOU I REALLY DO LOVE YOU
It might not always seem like it because I don't always act it. But trust me. I do
9) NOTHING I SAY IS PERSONAL
I'll always be a mess and things are almost always never organized. I say stupid things. But it don't mean much. I'm not insensitive I just have ADHD 
10) I HAVE TROUBLE SITTING STILL
sitting still doesn't really work for me too well I get fidgety and start losing focus in like two seconds 
11) I AM AWESOME AT HIDING MY FEELINGS AND EFFECTS OF MY ADHD
Even if I say I'm okay I might not be. And just because I'm sitting still doesn't mean twenty things are not on my mind all at once. 
12) IF YOU DO NOT WRITE DATES AND REMINDERS DOWN I WILL FORGET 
Even simple things like taking out the trash 
13) ONE THING AT A TIME
Because if you tell me to do more than one thing at a time nothing gets done 
14) I AM IMPULSIVE 
I make some crappy decisions I know I shouldn't do but do anyways because while I am an adult I think and sometimes act like a teenager. It's impulsive and I can't always stop myself before I actually do it. Because half the time I don't think before I do things. 

And well. That's all I got. Until I remember more later. So that's me. Living with my ADHPT.

(Our ADHD Story shares thoughts and ideas that do not necessarily represent our own. To share your story write to lles86@hotmail.com)

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

I Hate a Liar

I have heard people with ADHD are very empathetic, not sure if it is true for everyone but if you have empathy I think you can see how people are feeling and thinking easier than others, even when they are lieing to you. Do all ADHD people see the lies and hate them more? I know I do.  I saw this and related so I wanted to share:

"Does anyone else find that people being straight with them is completely VITAL to their wellbeing? There are obviously people with whom it's even more important (partner, family etc) but I find that I really can't tolerate dishonesty, to a level where the people around me have to know to be as descriptive as possible with anything they're feeling because I'm something of an empathy in that I always know when something's up and 9 times out of ten I'll know what it is, but I need to hear it from the horses mouth. I seem to know instinctively when someone is lying to me and get a sick feeling in my stomach until I have the full story. I feel really put out when someone tries to pull the wool over my eyes, to a level where I consider it cruel if they do it after I've explained to them how important it is that they don't. It can rock my whole world for a number of weeks and I have a really hard time recovering from it. I can handle happy stuff and I can handle sad stuff but being confused or not having the full story KILLS me. I still maintain that one of the biggest gifts you can give to another person besides love, is a proper explanation. Anyone else find that they're overly sensitive to deception or dishonesty? I feel like it's someone electively doing damage to the bond you share with them."

(Our ADHD Story shares thoughts and ideas that do not necessarily represent our own. To share your story write to lles86@hotmail.com)

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Embracing Who I Am

Our story started as my story, about 23 years ago, when I was about 7. The school recommended taking me for an ADHD evaluation. the doctor told my mom that she felt I showed strong symptoms and recommended starting Ritalin. I'm not sure what her exact reasoning was but at the time, my mother felt she was making the best decision for me and she declined putting me on any medication. At the time I didn't know I had a diagnosis of anything, my mom didn't tell me until I was much older.


I spent all of elementary school with my desk right next to the teacher's desk. I was very intelligent and finished my work much faster than the rest of the kids. However I was unable to quietly sit at my desk while I waited for them to finish. Sitting by the teacher was the only way she could keep me from horribly distracting the rest of the class while they worked.


I was always 'different' as a kid. Everything was NOW. I can remember my mom and I meeting my Girl Scout leader after school to pick up tickets for the Nutcracker ballet the troop was going to. The leader asked if I wanted to sit next to her daughter. She meant at the ballet, obviously. I thought she meant at that moment, so I got out of my mom's car, climbed in the leader's car and sat next to her daughter, confusing them all. I did things like that constantly. The other kids noticed how 'weird' I was. It was pretty obvious.

In jr high, I seriously began to suffer depression, which I blame partially on my relationships [or lack of] with my peers. I had almost no friends and my grades were slipping in my isolation. As a freshman, I tried to commit suicide. I thankfully failed but it was a wake up call. I began to embrace who I was, quirks and all. I became comfortable with myself and proud of how 'weird' I was. I found people that tolerated my quirks and became my best friends.

Now, almost 15 years later, I'm married and raising 4 kids. My oldest son is 6 and has been diagnosed with ADHD. I honestly suspected it since he was about 3 but he did well in preschool, which I think is because they had a strong routine and a good teacher:student ratio of 1:6. Once he got to Kindergarten, the ratio was 1:22 and his symptoms/behaviors exploded and he couldn't function in the classroom. I know my mom did what she thought was best, but I remember how much I struggled in classrooms and how I was never able to form close friendships until I was much older because I couldn't control myself and no one knew or understand why I was the way I was, so I strive to do whatever I can to help my son succeed in the classroom, with friends, and in life. It’s hard being an adult with ADHD raising a child with ADHD, but I’m glad that I can see where he is and understand because I've been there and I know. I don’t want him to ever feel the way I felt. So now we tell our story together.

(Our ADHD Story shares thoughts and ideas that do not necessarily represent our own. To share your story write to lles86@hotmail.com)

Monday, July 28, 2014

Success Despite Struggling With ADHD

Dx when I was in 1st grade. So blessed to have a pediatrician on top of things... 30 years ago! Meds were great. Diagnosed (finally) a couple years later with juvenile arthritis. My parents thought maybe there was a connection or something, so for 3rd & 4th grade put me at fantastic, hippy-dippy private school and took me off med. It was great for nurturing my creativity, but I still remember how hard I struggled academically without my meds. 



Back to regular school & back on meds. Survived but still a struggle. Had horrible meltdowns at home pretty frequently until my early teens. Mostly on different methylphenidate versions and cylert. Took dexadrine for a few days when I was 16. I've been a substance abuse counselor for over 5 years. When clients ask if I've ever done drugs I day no because I never want to feel like I did on dexadrine! 

I thrived in grad school. Was working on my PsyD in Clinical Psych at one point. The grad school was screwing me over so I settled for Masters in Counseling. I would love to work with children/teens with chronic illnesses teaching them alternative treatments like biofeedback and guided imagery. Have a 5 1/2 y.o. son just officially diagnosed last week. We've known since he was a toddler. Grateful every day for his beautiful disposition and didn't inherit mom's propensity for world class tantrums.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Smart with ADHD

Every story is different. Even my story doesn't fit the mold for stereotypical ADHD. I was a great student in my
adolescence, where many times other girls with ADHD 
would falter. However, there was a lot of self-esteem issues when it came down to my organization and tendency to forget the simplest things. Not to mention the procrastination. In University, I began to notice that I was struggling to read books and manage to do homework even more. I struggled at writing essays. It was just so hard to stay in one place. Long story short: I was finally prescribed ritalin and it has made a significant difference. Instead of being inattentive and random, my family and boyfriend notice I am more there and honed. It was a frustrating process but I would like to say that ADHD can affect anyone at all different capacities and capabilities. You can be school smart and have ADHD.

Its frustrating getting a diagnosis when you are a female who also did well in school. It's not that I didn't have symptoms, it's that I managed to cope better than most. I went through university health services to try to get a diagnosis after my boyfriend kept pointing it out and an experience with a very low dose of ritalin before. I ended up being inconclusive and puzzled the psychologist. So I was sent to the psychiatrist to rule out a "cyclical mood disorder" like Bipolar. Psychiatrist listened and eventually he decided to try me on ritalin. Ritalin is like putting on glasses. I can keep up with normal people. I feel much more calmed and like I can function better.

So technically my diagnosis is them trying to rule out ADHD, but the medication is responding positively. My stress level has gone down since I started taking my medication. My counselor said yesterday that I am in recovery.

Buy a Calendar

I have problems with being organized. I know that. The other day I had a wake up call from my counselor who pretty much said "You are flying by the seat of your pants. Things are just going to keep getting harder as your kids get older and you need to be organized for them and for you."

So he said get a calendar. How many times have we heard that? I have a lot and I always thought yeah a calendar is going to be the answer? Well I bought one and  found out with medication it is actually a great tool to help my organization.

I made a life change that involved taking my purse wherever I go to keep my essentials; phone, keys, wallet, and now my calendar. My calendar is small enough to carry around but big enough to fit in more than a tiny box per day.

Plus side is I look for stuff less and right when someone schedules something with me I can write it down quickly and not try to remember it later. This has also helped much of my anxiety because now I feel like I know what is going on and that I am not forgetting anything. My counselor even suggested scheduling time to worry, or schedule your to do lists.

So the other day I scheduled something that has been on my to do list for months and guess what? it got done! I know it is not my magic cure all but it has helped so much to have that calendar on me all the time. Give it a try, what can it hurt?

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Deep/Thought Observation:

 For a few weeks I have been observing the kids play ball on a team. There is one girl that seems VERY oppositional to anything anyone tells her. I was sitting there thinking about what types of therapies and/or medications would soothe her, so that she could actually have some fun, instead of spending her time in battle the whole game. Then it occurred to me... that generations before would look at the same child and think "that girl needs a good spanking, discipline, etc." In generations to come, I wonder what assertions we would make about the same child, and how parenting and medicine will evolve. I also wonder why humans have these notions about what proper behavior should be. I wonder if everyone was just allowed to grow up without our constructs, how things would turn out. Does commitment, drive, and responsible behavior HAVE to be taught? What if its okay for things to not be so orderly. What if those who weren't so "orderly" were tenacious enough to demand that we quit organizing things. Humans are interesting. We make up all these silly routines and ways things should be, and then spend our entire lives trying to conform to these silly things, or spend our lives convincing others that they should conform as well. It kind of seems like a waste of energy to me. I appreciate how far we have "evolved", but at the same time, I yearn for an existence where we do the activities that are required to SUSTAIN life. Eat, sleep, move, LOVE, and just be. Maybe in my next life I'll be a tree. Or, maybe I've been one already. *LOL*

See more from Margo Here

(Our ADHD Story shares thoughts and ideas that do not necessarily represent our own. To share your story write to lles86@hotmail.com)

Monday, July 21, 2014

Poem to my ADHD Son


You are my world, you are my son

I would never replace you with anyone.
Together we laugh, together we cry, 
I love to see all the things you try.
We have come so far, it’s been such a hard road,
I never forget, it’s you that carries the most of the load. 
But you have always been there with those gorgeous smiling eyes, 
Even every time we have had to say our goodbyes.
I would do anything for you to let you know you’re ok, 
But I see your struggle in your every day.
Don’t worry about finding your own special you, 
You are perfect in every way, yes it’s so true. 
My son, my baby boy, my everything that you are, 
You are the brightest spark, you little star. 
Live, love, flourish and grow, 
You’ll be so perfect, I just know. 


(Our ADHD Story shares thoughts and ideas that do not necessarily represent our own. To share your story write to lles86@hotmail.com)

Friday, July 18, 2014

Blessing and a Curse

Hi Everyone, I'm Kelly, a 29 chick from New Zealand. Hiya!!!
I was first diagnosed when I was really young, mum didn't take the meds, she let me be me which was a blessing and a curse. I didn't know until I was in my teens that I had been diagnosed so I spent my school life thinking there was something seriously wrong with me. I struggled through High school known as the class clown and constantly told to stop talking. Sometimes you just want to scream at people when they tell you that. God if only I could stop talking, or listen, or not butt in. Clearly if it was that easy I would. Silly Monkeys

7 years ago I decided to get testing done again, I was told I ticked the boxes for Adult ADD. Again I just wanted the diagnosis for myself not any medication. I was happy just knowing that there was a reason for some of the things I did. I'm happy in who I am and ADD makes me a lot more fun than a lot of people so I think its a blessing.

Right now I am in the process of going through Diagnosis again because I plan to study a Diploma of Business soon. I've decided for once in my life if I fail at something academic I want to be able to own it. I like failure, its not a bad thing, its a learning thing, and I'm not saying that I will fail. I'm head strong and I want my Diploma! But if I do fail I want it to be my failure and mine alone. Not something that was controlled by my ADD. So hopefully soon for the first time In my life I'll have a little more control.

So that's me. Kelly from NZ having her first real open conversation about something only those on the Frontline understand. 

And I would like to know something. How positive is everyone feeling with their diagnosis? Have you found happiness in it? Where do you feel you are now with coming to terms with your awesome differences?

(Our ADHD Story shares thoughts and ideas that do not necessarily represent our own. To share your story write to lles86@hotmail.com)

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Take Another Look

So, if you have that kid that is sitting so politely, waiting for the talk at the zoo, and is not kicking sand, wiggling, or complaining about the hot day...good for you. But keep your obvious holier than though annoying energy out of my business. That impulsive kid, that couldn't sit still... That couldn't stop touching everything... Yup, might have been because of bad parenting. But, it wasn't my parenting. Imagine what your kids would be like if they watched power rangers and ate chips and water for the past 5 years because their mom was a junky. That kid, that made you judge ME, was experiencing child centered fun for the first time in their life... Touching, feeling, seeing, smelling something other than filth and crack pipes. I am sure, any neglected human, might have a hard time meeting your expectations for proper behavior. THAT kid, that YOU thought was behaving so badly... Received love, attention, and PRAISE for being a GOOD listener. You didn't get to see the look on his face, of confusion...prepared to be told he was BAD... And then so relieved that for the first time in his life, he received POSITIVE reinforcement instead of discipline. He was told for the first time, that being a kid was okay... And that it was good he was excited! When he was tooooo intrusive with others, he was firmly, but LOVINGLY told about how his actions were inappropriate. He wasn't beat, ridiculed or ignored... Not once today, for the first time. So, keep your eye rolls to yourself... You're in a public place.... Child centered... Outdoors... Get over it. Your hateful eye rolls and intolerance was so much uglier than anything that boy could do. If you weren't so blind, you would have seen love, compassion, healing, and beautiful memories being made, in the moment, without fear, uncertainty or worry. Today... Was a beautiful day. If you were too busy judging us to see it, then I feel sorry for you... Because you missed something truly beautiful.

See more from Margo Here

Thursday, July 10, 2014

NOT my fault!

I am the mother of two children; a son weeks 21 & undiagnosed ADHD and a daughter 11 who was diagnosed at 10. All through life I always struggled with school, peers, organization, and impulse for starters and was always deemed to be lazy or a 'space cadet' My son was always extremely active and always fidgeting and like his mother at every parent teacher conference; lack of focus was the main topic with the difference being, he always heard and retained the lesson no matter how much he seemed to be off in left field and therefore he had fantastic grades. 

My daughter and I did not fair so well. School was a struggle and watching her was like watching a home movie; right down to bring ostracized from peers. I was able to finally get her diagnosed & she was prescribed medication. From there her grades went from mediocre to fantastic however we still have a struggle with some co-morbid factors that can often go hand in hand with ADHD such as depression and anxiety.  

For myself, I almost failed high school and with that being the case worked retail and phone sale jobs throughout my adult life. Thankfully I was able to stay in one job for long periods of time with fantastic bosses who excepted me with all my quirks. After almost 9 yrs I was laid off from my company and at that point had my 'do over'. I had a cousin who was developmentally disabled when I was younger and whom I was extremely close to when she passed away, leaving a life long desire to work with others who have disabilities; losing my job in sales made this desire possible.  

My strengths from my ADHD to focus on what the rest of the world either misses completely or deem insignificant proved to be an invaluable asset in the behavioral aspect of working with people with developmental disabilities and what had always been a desire turned out to be my calling in life. After working for a couple years being so good working with this community; yet missing some aspects of understanding, my boss made mention of the possibility of me having ADHD (which I had questioned most of my life). After my daughter was dx... I took the plunge and sought professional help.  

Just shy of my 40th birthday, I received the best news of my life; my entire life of bad grades, blurting inappropriate comments, struggling with organization, constantly dropping the ball in every aspect and so on: was NOT my fault! This was the beginning of my NEW life! Since then I am on medication, I started college in efforts to get my B.S. in Human Services w/ a concentration in Psychology and low and behold; I AM very intelligent. I have maintained a 3.8 gpa and considering a barely made it out if high school with a 65 this is liberating for me. Since my diagnosis I have made it my personal mission to educate myself, my family and those who simply don't understand. What drives me is the fact that I can empower others who like me; right they were a complete failure. I try to access my strengths not my weaknesses. I just need to get my daughter to feel empowered; it's a long process that took new almost 40 yrs. .. I don't want it to take her that long.

(Our ADHD Story shares thoughts and ideas that do not necessarily represent our own. To share your story write to lles86@hotmail.com)

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

ADHD Tips


Get a planner.... grocery list note pads (preferably a one magnet for the fridge) any tasks such as bills to be paid and appts wrote in your planner. It will take some getting used to; but don't give up and CARRY it EVERYWHERE. you'll eventually feel naked without it. My DR'S offices now know; off they don't see me write it in my planner, it's not happening. Don't overwhelm yourself with tasks... set 10-15 min and a specific goal/ don't set your goals to the point that it's impossible to get to; that's just a setup for failure. At work; if you feel yourself check out; don't be ashamed to ask the person to repeat themselves and laugh at yourself! I would be like gee, that was a GREAT vacation. ... I'm back now; can you please repeat yourself. Get yourself structured with task boards... Get yourself educated... I personally have learned a LOT of coping techniques from ADDitude Magazine. They've been extremely helpful.

Take baby steps; if you try to change everything at once you'll sabotage yourself by overwhelming yourself and if at first you don't succeed; try try AGAIN!

Everything is simple on paper. .... it's a process and that process comes with good and bad days; that's where my prayer life comes in. It allows me to forgive myself and realize that my brain is my own worst enemy. As far as having a child, I have days (thankfully they are few and far between, NOW) where I feel completely useless. But that's in my head and that's what I have worked diligently to beat negative self talk as well as the bad habit of internalizing irrational moods of my child's. I have worked very hard to keep repeating, I am good, I am smart, I can succeed. ... over and over. ... at first it's hard but as your transforming your thoughts; it begins to penetrate. Just take baby steps. That is key. ... that is an issue with us shiny squirrels is we go in with a fiery fury only to have the wind blow us out because we don't see instant gratification. Slow and easy wins the race as well as educate yourself.... I found that when I learn "why" my brain thinks how it does; I feel better and I realize that ALL the years the world tried to tell me what I am; I'm nothing what they thought I was.... same goes for the kids. .. not to mention the more we accept our shiny side, the more we can control it as well as show our kids that we ARE perfect in all our perceived imperfections. It also teaches them to be proud of who they are. It indeed is very hard work and each day is a guessing game. .... but you can do it.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Quiet and Reserved

I’m 26 and living with ADD since I was 7.


I was highly medicated at school but I still found I never really had any good friends to be with, I classed myself as a floater dotting to different crowds of people I new but stayed in the background so sort of a loner but tried to look like I had friends.


With the lessons because of my ADD I had a teaching assistant in every class apart from sports, music and IT, after my exams 2 of which were gcse I got a G in music and U in IT, that just proved that left alone I either I played up or switched off even when on meds, the rest of my gcse grades were in the d's and e's but it was still a major struggle just to get them.


Even today off the meds for 10 years, I work in a suit shop and in general when I get highly stressed and overwhelmed I go quiet and reserved.

My biggest problem I can't budge is my compulsiveness especially to dvds and having a food box under my bed, cause of not being allowed certain foods when I was a child I buy them and put them in the box.


The main one that people get annoyed at is that I can’t do restaurants, I can go but I won't eat, I feel sick, I never look at the people taking me I look at my surroundings and people watch and when I get really overwhelmed I disappear to the toilet and stay there until I can face just sitting back into the surroundings could be up to 30 mins.

Monday, July 7, 2014

I had to FIGHT to love me!

I had to FIGHT to love me for me as well as educate my self in order to learn what mistakes I was making and how to not repeat them. I try to keep my emotions in check and implement prayer in order to help me find peace or a quick ten count in order to evaluate whether or not my actions are valid or am I it wrong. I write lots of lists, I will repeat what is said to me as well as my interpretation of what I heard and I also try to remember 'I' OVER 'E' : intellect over emotion. It's a struggle and not everyone is going to get us. But the only person I truly need to please is myself. ... I have to accept myself in order to be a positive role model; mother; spouse and employee. Learn your strengths and work with them, don't focus on your weakness '.

(Our ADHD Story shares thoughts and ideas that do not necessarily represent our own. To share your story write to lles86@hotmail.com)

Friday, July 4, 2014

Our Journey

People who have never walked in our shoes will never know what this journey consists of. I used to cry thinking I was a bad mom. I would ask God why can't my kid learn. He said every child is different. This is the child I blessed you with. He can learn, he just learns differently.i sought services with Kennedy k.r.e.i.g.e.r, I made sure he was treated right in the classroom (his former teacher at his former school made him sit in a corner alone), spent time at the library on Saturdays, sat with him during his homework. A teacher at his former school tried to retain him. I wrote a letter to north Ave and told them how he was being treated and they passed him. As a parent if you're not satisfied with a teacher's decision, get up and say something. You are your child's advocate. All those who wanna talk trash, screw you!

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Highly Medicated

I’m 26 and living with ADD since I was 7.


I was highly medicated at school but I still found I never really had any good friends to be with, I classed myself as a floater dotting to different crowds of people I new but stayed in the background so sort of a loner but tried to look like I had friends.


With the lessons because of my ADD I had a teaching assistant in every class apart from sports, music and IT, after my exams 2 of which were gcse I got a G in music and U in IT, that just proved that left alone I either I played up or switched off even when on meds, the rest of my gcse grades were in the d's and e's but it was still a major struggle just to get them.


Even today off the meds for 10 years, I work in a suit shop and in general when I get highly stressed and overwhelmed I go quiet and reserved.
My biggest problem I can't budge is my compulsiveness especially to dvds and having a food box under my bed, cause of not being allowed certain foods when I was a child I buy them and put them in the box.


The main one that people get annoyed at is that I can’t do restaurants, I can go but I won't eat, I feel sick, I never look at the people taking me I look at my surroundings and people watch and when I get really overwhelmed I disappear to the toilet and stay there until I can face just sitting back into the surroundings could be up to 30 mins.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

ADHD is Varied

I don’t think some realize how varied ADHD is and while diet/discipline/structure is good (for any kid) and its GREAT if it works for yours, most need something more because their brain lacks the ability to produce/regulate the chemicals it needs to function. I grew up with an undiagnosed dad. he had a violent temper and after he was diagnosed (I was 11) and got meds and counseling it was shocking to see the difference in him. He told me that when he threw a fit, afterwards with all the adrenaline in his system, it was the only time he felt "right" and could see solutions he couldn't before and it was like the fog lifted for that brief moment. Think about that. If I can give my kids medication to lift the fog and make them feel normal on a regular bases they won't have to throw tantrums or engage in risky behaviors for the feel good chemicals most get just by being alive.

We were very against meds and have been trying alternatives but as our daughter gets older and puberty/teenager is coming up fast we decided to look at medications as she has some behaviors like lying and attraction to anything inappropriate as well as easily swayed by pressure that are very concerning. And I have the sweetest brother in jail because of similar issues (unmedicated) who had expressed fear at his impulse issues shortly before his jail stunt (mostly peer pressure). And he counsels me with my kids

We use the oils. actually have had success but its just not enough. It makes living with the kiddos tolerable but I couldn't send daughter to school and lately haven’t been able to even get through the school basics at home. Its transitioning from the major tantrums to more all the time issues.

For me school was a breeze but I always struggled a bit with depression that got worse with mommyhood and depression drugs made it so much worse. Then my brother mentioned how his ADD meds helped his depression so I talked to the doc and he did a checklist and prescribed me drugs (you may gasp at that diagnostic laziness but my doc was also my family's doc and ADHD is all over in it and he knew it). And WOW! Not only did it ease depression but calmed my anxiety and lifted a brain fog I didn’t even know was there! I can pay bills on time and remember appointments and feel up for outings and its awesome.

I  think it is SUPER important to realize there are many different symptoms and degrees of ADHD and just because YOU chose to go a "natural" route doesn't mean your method would work on another child as cause and severity and personality all differ. And just because you chose to medicate doesn't mean you didnt try hard enough or parent good enough. What I would hope is that each parent councils with their support system and do what they believe will help THEIR child the most. And this really is what I would say everyone here is doing. Instead of saying "you should do..." share what worked for your child and why you chose it for your family.

its about what is best for your child. Some tried meds and it didn't work. Some feel like they missed out because of how helpful the meds were after they get them as an adult and they don’t want that for other kids is all. I didn’t need meds growing up but I do as an adult BUT I strongly believe if my parents had stuck it out and found a med that worked for my brother he wouldn't be in prison. Hes a good kid with impulse issues and that need to please peers. I have 2 other brothers who self medicated with alcohol and tobacco (mostly) and are now trying to undo that damage (for wife/kids). And I am married to a man who was medicated 5-18 and now isn't (but it would make MY life easier if he were).

I guess what Im saying is, there is too much variation to judge anothers choices. too much we don’t know or can’t see and we should be sharing our personal experiences to help others make those choices and supporting each other no matter the choice made.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Medication Can Help

A lot of those people who complain about their child's anger - many time it is just because they are so frustrated and don't know why.  Medication would alleviate so much and their behavior would change for the better automatically.

And many parents say their kids also have depression and anxiety.  It most cases these are side effects of untreated ADHD.  With meds, the fog clears and so does the depression and anxiety.

I am 57 years old.  I have lived with this a long time.  Parents who are not ADHD have no idea how their child's brain works (or doesn't in this case).  Without meds, I feel like I am walking through quicksand everyday - the simplest things are huge challenges - like grocery shopping.

Another thing parents of ADHD kids don't realize - you don't grow out of it.  It's more like you grow into it because life only gets more complicated.  Adults with ADHD tend to lose their jobs often or switch jobs a lot.  They also get divorced more often or change partners a lot.  These two things mostly have to do with how ADHDers don't read people correctly.  Nothing but medication can help that.

It is nice of people to be supportive of anti-med parents.  I absolutely can't get behind that.  I really do feel sorry for the kids at our school that aren't medicated.  They are so insecure, have very low self-esteem, and look so confused and unhappy - that was me.  And I was a good student.  My problem was navigating the world.

My son wanted to die in the middle of third grade.  In March of last year, we put him on Concerta and have never looked back.  He is now a happy, self-confident boy who rarely has melt-downs and thinks he is the smartest kid in his class.

(Our ADHD Story shares thoughts from others that do not necessarily represent our own. To share your thoughts message lles86@hotmail.com)

About Me

My photo

Our ADHD Story is a place where people can share their stories, thoughts, and feelings about ADHD. Get past the generic list of symptoms and see how it is affecting people in real life through personal stories. We are not here to inform you, we are here to engage you.