I am lost in a daydream and I love it. I can easily entertain myself with my thoughts and ideas. I am back into reality as my 3rd grade teacher says “Laura is in la la land again.” and we all laugh. It is our class joke that never gets old. I am a sweet girl and I don’t get in trouble. I know I am liked and I am smart. Even when I daydream it is easy to make up for not paying attention because these concepts feel simple.
5th grade brings learning a musical instrument. The violin. The first lesson makes me feel like I am over my head. Suddenly something is not so simple. This is hard, it takes too much focus. How do you remember all these steps and ideas. I make excuses to stay out of class as much as possible.
Move forward to 6th grade. It is my last year in elementary. I talk too much and have homework now that I don’t do. I make up for it with my sweet and fun personality. My teacher likes me. I have to sit out gym time and write my spelling words because I have not been doing them. It is not hard and I know I could do it quickly and easily but it is so boring and being in my own thoughts is so much better. I never get much accomplished and I am behind all year.
Junior high feels like a car wreck. Suddenly not everything is in one classroom and not all my stuff is available in one desk. Organization is suddenly very important and suddenly what I am learning is not so simple. If I lose focus I won't do well. I feel awkward and my lack of maturity is really starting to show.
Being bored in class makes my feet antsy making me want to run out of class screaming. My legs want to move! The only way to stop the urge is to daydream and take myself out of there with my mind.
High school brings new challenges. I am talkative and fun yet I still struggle with friendships. Partly because I am too blunt and don’t have much tact. Also because I am run by my emotions and lack control. Boyfriends are a struggle. I get bored quickly and hurt people by my fickle nature.
My bad grades are now a bigger problem. Failing classes means after school classes or not graduating. I do summer school full of boring packets that make my feet antsy. I do a test packet full of circling random answers. Nothing bad happens. I pass by circling and daydreaming. My GPA is poor but I graduate.
Still the hard part is only beginning. I quickly move into marriage, children, and college. Still without knowing or understanding I am being affected by ADHD.
Post a Comment