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Friday, April 25, 2014

What is your idea of ADHD 'Hell'?

  • I HATE being put on hold!!
  • Needing a change of pace but being forced into a routine I can't pay enough attention to to follow
  • Listening to someone with a gravelly voice narate a book on tape, while pausing to snort their nose.
  • Family - not giving a crap, not understanding it, and not doing anything to help you. And oh, flying under the radar for 39 years when the signs were clearly there
  • Spending every day, day in and day out, waiting on hold for indeterminate periods of time, while listening to elevator music, and losing each call just as the person picks up.
  • NEEDING to read for school and not being able to focus on a single sentence, no matter what I do
  • Having to actually wait my turn to talk when I have something really, really, REALLY important to say.....and then forgetting what it was.
  • Wanting so much to go somewhere or do something; when the opportunity comes up - I back out. Then detach from the person or group that suggests it. I've tried to visit a friend 3 miles away for early four years. Then I shut down. My mother said that even as a toddler I would be excited about going anywhere ad within minutes of arriving, all I did was want to go home. It's really hell....
  • Having to have something explained to you by someone who has horrible bad breath, while they whisper it to you and you have to lean in realllly close to hear it, over and over again because you're bad with directions.
  • Standing in line constantly getting bumped by little kids or people in general and no one says excuse me. Or being crowded while waiting to check out
  • My emotions getting the best of me! There is nothing worse to me than knowing something should not bother you but your emotions and body tell you yes you are and there's nothing you can do about it!!
  • Wanting to watch so much anime, but don't have the concentration for it. I have almost 50 tabs of anime on my internet browser that I want to watch, but I simply cannot pay attention
  • Having to work in a contained office with a stinky boss who looks/reads over my shoulder at my computer screen when we aren't busy or just to see what I am doing to keep busy and or just to be nosy. And trying to control my mouth and myself to tell him to back away in the nicest possible way because he smells effin nastier than a high schools bedroom after football practice!!
  • My brain? It's like having the mind of a pentium wiv 2gs of RAM! I wish I cud switch it off! Put the brakes on it, I over anylise EVERY situation and every motive, drives me batty!
  • Knowing every day you have to clean, do laundry, cook and repeat from sun up to sun down without a day off.
  • ( I actually had this job) doing piecework and having to finish 5000 of the exact same little bitty computer part in an hour, as your coworker plays the SAME Barry Manilow tape over and over and over again throughout the day.
  • Actually I find THE most annoying thing is the inability to follow throu on a thought, its like i get bored cannot invest anymore thinking time on that and cut off, oh, to follow through on a single thought to completion! Its almost a life long dream  it goes hand in hand with walking into a shop to buy a lighter and ending up buying the whole shop goin home then having to return to shop cos the ONLY BLOODY THING I WENT OUT FOR I forgot 
  • Working underground in a damp, dank space....while lights flicker overhead and there's a constant drip, drip, dripping. And a draft that you cannot figure out where it originates from to be able to stop it.
  • Having to talk on the phone to people with monotone voices....all. dang. day.
  • Having a giant cobweb hanging from a ceiling fan in your living room and not being able to reach it. And your husband can't see it.
  • Having to drive a dirty car
  • Mine would be being so opposed to everyday "routine" and being forced to adhere to the same rigid schedule, day in and day out.....and not being allowed to change up the way you do things.
  • Pouring just the perfect cup of coffee, over and over again but never being able to drink it because you're always forgetting it somewhere.
  • Leaving each and every load of laundry in the washer for days, just until it gets a nice mildew smell.
  • Having a dozen things that I hafta do, and everytime I try to leave someone on Facebook says something interesting and I tell myself "I'll just answer this one last post"
  • Although I really like certain parts of my job, currently I have to give the exact same presentation every day, 10 months of the year, and 3x a day in July and August. It's for college freshmen, so it's a different group of students every day, but I am so sick of saying the EXACT SAME THING OVER AND OVER EVERY DAY and still trying to sound enthusiastic about it. Anything monotonous is ADHD hell for me
  • Having friends who you get together with each weekend, who can't remember that they told you the very same stories when you saw them last weekend....and the weekend before. And they insist on finishing the story, despite you interjecting with "oh yah....oh, I remember you saying that. Uh huh....yep, no....she did that again?"
  • Any activity in which someone insists on standing and watching you over your shoulder.......whether it's while I'm at the computer, or parked in front of a slot machine. (unless you're winning. In which case they are your lucky charm and they must stay).
  • Spending hours cleaning.....and being so proud of how your wood floors just *sparkle*. Then your husband walks in with his muddy shoes and promptly drops half a Popsicle on the floor.
  • Being made to weed the garden for hours on end as you hear the sound (they've ramped up the volume for you....this is Hell afterall) of more weeds popping out of the ground.
  • Colleagues who are perfectionists!! That explains why I've ended self employed!
  • Typing out a it would be 5 miles long....Reason why I'm self employed.
  • Noticing, out the window, that a guy is walking his pot-bellied pig as you're supposed to be paying attention in a meeting. Now, all you can think about is the guy and his pot-bellied pig.
  • Dial up internet
  • Wanting to clean and organize but not having the motivation or feeling to overwhelmed to even know where to begin.
  • Helping children with homework every day
  • Paperwork, bills
  • My mind going 90-nothing, a bunch of people around me talking and I can't focus. My emotions going up and down, trying to stabilize my life but can only do it with medications. ADHD sucks.
  • Being undiagnosed my whole life and living with with the symptoms, and then finding sweet, blessed relief upon being diagnosed in my late 40's. Only to have a new Doctor tell me, in my mid-fifties, that *she* thinks my ADD is "questionable" and very likely due to my being menopausal. Listen ya dumby........that *could* be true if they weren't the very same symptoms I'd had in my 20's, 30's and 40's.
  • Having a mind full of ideas, experience, knowledge, talent, brilliance and a heart full of love, life and desire... and not being able to live it out fully, adventurously and undaunted. (it's not TRUE that i'm unable to live it out. that's the lie that my emotions tell me. sometimes i just wanna punch those negative voices in my head in the face and then run to the top of a mountain!) 
  • Continually striving to overcome the negative symptoms that hinder relationships in my life. It hurts me that a good deal of my intentions don't line up with my reality. I am afraid that my husband, children other family and friends, will not fully understand, know, see or feel the depth of my love for them from me because of distractions and a tendency to be unfocused; it's hard for me to spend real quality time with them as my mind drifts and wanders and sometimes disinterest rises up also over time I have lost some faith and confidence in my ability keep up, follow up and follow through with great plans, ideas as well just the plain forgetfulness, it has taken a huge toll and has caused unintentional pain, heartache and missed opportunities for me and my loved ones. I have passed on visits from special people in my life because of areas in my home that were so unorganized I was embarrassed and sadden that I couldn't get it together. Thankfully I have grown in most of these areas, found coping strategies, studied and got information to help improve and / or developed some business relationships with professional organizers and cleaning services that have helped heal some pain and restore some areas. But it remains a battle to build and maintain genuine, healthy and complete relationships.
What is your idea of ADHD 'Hell'?

Thank you to the support groups!
(ouradhdstory shares thoughts and ideas from others and do not necessarily represent my own)

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