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Thursday, April 10, 2014

Unashamed ADHD

Ok here is my story. I grew up with my mom, dad, and twin sisters that are three years older than me. My twin sister’s were and still are very close. They were excellent students got awesome grades. My parents treated them like queens. Then they had me on accident they always said. I struggled in school and had a learning disability and everyone including my family called me stupid and why couldn't I be like my sisters. I heard that all my life and still do. I couldn't do anything right.

So after I moved out I went and saw a therapist for awhile and my family was so embarrassed and ashamed because of me going to a therapist. They still are to this day very ashamed and tell me to keep everything hush hush because they don't want anyone too know they are embarrassed. I really don't talk to them all that much because they make my anxiety and depression worse.

So I have kind of had a breakdown at 47 and trying to get myself better and to work on my depression, adhd, bipolar, and anxiety. It has been a long and hard road but taking baby steps and I will get there. I am sick and tired of feeling hopeless, powerless, physically and mentally exhausted, lost, hurt, angry, mad, and etc.

I have been married for 21 years to my husband and he is trying to be so supportive and helping me through all of this. I have two kids a son who is 16 and a daughter who is 17. It it wasn't for my kids and husband I don't know what I would do.

Right now I finally after seeing 4 pdocs found an excellent one and we are in the process of getting tested for ADHD, but she is somewhat diagnosed me with Bipolar II, anxiety, and depression. I love my therapist that I see every week and have come a long way. So I am working very hard at being positive, happy, and no more negativity in my life. Which is quite hard the negativity because of the mental illness issues. But I am trying my best.

I will admit I am addicted to FB and I am also a Page Admin for 2 Pages. I love it! I love helping people, supporting people, encouraging people, and possibly inspiring people. I am not ashamed of my mental health issues and I want to help stop the stigma and let people they are not alone.

All my life I have been struggling and finally I had a bit of a breakdown last March. Started finally seeing a therapist gain which I absolutely love. In July I got fired from the 11th job I had in year because of lack of attention, can't concentrate, can't follow simple instructions, and etc. So my husband, therapist, and I decided that I would not get a job and work on ME. So haven't worked since last July and been working on taking care of ME and getting the help I need.

So I finally got diagnosed with Bipolar and ADHD and of course Depression and Anxiety!!! Yeah finally!!!

Do you understand what Lisa is going through? Join her support group! Have a story to share? E-mail me at lles86@hotmail.com

( Please note thehiddenillness shares opinions and thoughts from others which are solely the thoughts of the author and do not necessarily represent my own.)

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