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Friday, April 4, 2014

Pass or Fail?

(Please note thehiddenillness shares opinions and thoughts from others which are solely the thoughts of the author and do not necessarily represent those of this blog. Some grammar may be left unchecked in order to maintain the voice of the writer)

My story starts in elementary school...  Skipping class telling the teachers I needed to go to the bathroom when I really didn't and I was up walking the halls of the school, acting out in class, having a hard time understanding what I was reading and learning was in special classes for reading, math and English, I was constantly loosing things (I could put something down and the next minute forget where I put it), there was one time I had to eat lunch in the principals office because of my impulsive behavior I was constantly in trouble and not listening  ... Finally the teacher had to send home a report everyday of how i was doing because it had gotten so bad because of the misbehavior I couldn't stay in my seat, I couldn't focus and I couldn't learn well it was very frustrating and hard for me.


Teachers told my grandparents that I had ADHD and I needed to be tested. all throughout school I was labeled by the teachers and school officials as disruptive, problem child, and they just wanted me out of there hair. I had an IEP starting in elementary school but even with that there still was no progress. So My teachers even pulled me out of class and I was in small classes they passed me through grades all throughout school on purpose even when I knew that I shouldn't have been passed.


I couldn't even add or multiple let alone divide. To this day I still have to add on my hands and if its to much for my hands I have to get a piece of paper and do tally marks because I just can not add in my head. I also to this day can not tell time by a watch if I do I have to count the hand 5 10 15 20 25 to just be able to tell what time it is I just look at the clock and know what time it is. I have poor comprehension on what I read. I can read the words well but I don't understand them.


In middle school i finally got a dx by the doctor of adhd and was put on adderall and constantly switching to different cocktails of medications just to help me. The adderall helped me focus and made me want to work and organize. In middle school i would just get so frustrated that i would literally just walk out of class without asking even when the teacher telling me to come back i wouldn't. I was constantly in trouble and in In school suspension.


It had gotten so bad that by the time i was in the 8 grade i wasn't allowed to switch classes with everyone else I was in one of my teachers room all day long while the rest of my teachers sent my work to her room and i sat in a cubicle right there in her room while she taught her kids throughout the day. Of course she tried to help me but how could she when she was teaching class right there and i was on something else. When I got in high school I just started skipping school and skipping class just stayed through all lunch periods hanging out. I was frustrated with school because i couldn't understand it-the teachers didn't take enough time with me one on one to help me and just passed me through grades in school which left me behind.


I remember I never could pass any tests that i took i always got c's or f's no a's or b's which was so discouraging. The school system in high school got tired of me and sent me off to another school out of district where they said that this school had another program that could help me. well it was difficult for me there too I was in a class 3 times a day and still didn't get the help I needed i wasn't learning just being there disrupting things. I felt so alone and scared.  


Then I went to another school because my grandparents had to move. This school had no IEP's and no small classes. It was frustrating, scary, lonely and so unbelievably hard to learn. At this school i always would go to school and leave before it started i was skipping school more here than at any of the schools that i have been to. So one day i refused to take my medications i was hollering screaming and yelling, texting in class getting on my phone on the internet in my class talking to others and the principal escorted me to take my med's i never took them put them under my tongue and dumped them in the toilet later.


I was in the 10 grade for 3 years because i could not pass the 10th grade. On my 18th birthday the principal  called me up to his office and said to me I have papers here for you.. these papers are for you to drop out of school... if you drop out of school I will give you a recommendation to get a job. so I dropped out there was nothing that my grandparents could do I was of legal age and i was just tired and frustrated of not ever getting anywhere in school i figure okay i can go get a job now.

Please know that the school system's don't want to take the time to teach kids with mental disorders because its too much effort and they don't have time for it. Be your child's best advocate. Make sure the teachers are taking the time to teach your kids one on one and not just passing them through school to get them out of there hands. You would think that the school systems and teachers are equipped to deal with kids with mental disorders but in fact they know nothing about them and they don't know how to deal with kids with disorders..


Be very active in your child's education when something doesn't add up with their grades in school and then they are being passed make sure you do everything possible to straighten things out. ... Even with IEP's like I had they still did this to me. Please also know that I was also later with Bipolar at 15. I have come to find out that A Lot of doctors do not want to dx children with bipolar but rather dx them with adhd because its easier to tell the parents that their kids have ADHD than bipolar.. Most of the times its actually ADHD and bipolar mixed together also bipolar is very hard to diagnose  i didn't get my diagnosis until i went to the mental institution for the 3rd time. I have ADHD and bipolar and Now social anxiety disorder.

Oh and please don't let the doctors over medicate your children. When i was in high school I was on 18 pills a day but they were 8 different pills. I was literally a walking zombie and that's why i refused to take my medications in high school.


Kristy Danley


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(Do you have an ADHD story you would like to share? Please e-mail me at lles86@hotmail.com)

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Our ADHD Story is a place where people can share their stories, thoughts, and feelings about ADHD. Get past the generic list of symptoms and see how it is affecting people in real life through personal stories. We are not here to inform you, we are here to engage you.