I have 2 children with adhd my oldest adhd and odd..I'm a single Mom..4 kiddos total..I was hoping someone else whos in or been in a similar situation would be able n willing to provide I guess help.. I know this maybe a long shot but I'm like at the end of my rope..outta ideas n not having much luck with anything really n I don't know anybody who's dealt with any of this
.. my oldest is 10 has adhd n odd.. I've always had issues with his attitude n behavior n he will poop his pants..which his psychologist said he has seen before with children who were diagnosed with that combo..there had always been some issues with behavior n everything in school not as bad as at home tho..he has always been very defiant.. before he had even been tested I had a feeling he had adhd n had tried switching his diet essential oils herbal things such as teas etc but nothing seemed to improve anything..he was always extremely hateful and mean toward his brothers one in particular.. after being diagnosed the psychologist prescribed him to concerta starting at the lowest dose possible n that was just over a yr ago..and when that was started it seemed to help and the pooping stopped..within a month they weren't working anymore n it was like that with every dose increase..well this school yr things just got worse n worse..started off good in school except the pooping in the pants which has continued to only happen at school..about 4 maybe 5 months ago the psychologist thought it was an anxiety thing and prescribed him a low dose of zoloft to take at night which I can tell a big difference when he doesn't take it but didn't help with the issue..n each month at school his attitude n behavior continues to get worse n worse..fighting hurting other students being hateful n down right mean..he's not doing school work or anything won't listen to anybody at all anymore..couple months ago the psychologist referred him to a therapist also who decided she was not qualified enough to deal with him n she specializes in children she said he needed more help..
last few days at school he's spent most the day in the office for refusing to do as he's told n talking back to him teacher n throwing things around kickin things etc.. n did the same things while in the office..well then today I had walked with my youngest son to the school so that I could talk to the counselor n fill her in on the therapist thing n let her know bout issues at home n watnot n while I was there stopped in to take to his teacher n he had gotten sent to the nurse(this was at the end of school) to change n clean up cuz he pooped his pants again..but bein it was that late in the day everyone was leaving or had already left so he was told he was going to have to go home with me instead of going to the after school program like he normally does everyday..
n he refused to leave..I took him down the hall to return something to the after school program room n I couldn't get him out I literally had to wrap my arms around him to try to pull him out at which time he grabbed the door frame n wouldn't let go..I had to use the wall as leverage to get him loose n when I finally got him outta the room he thru himself down in the hall taking me down with him n he laid there in the hall curled up crying n trying to kick me by this time I already had one teacher stop to try to help but we had no luck getting him up n he's too strong for me to try to pick him up or anything..that was around 3:10-3:15 as time went on there was another teacher along with the counselor who stopped n tried to help but nothing worked the principal was called down that didn't work..all this time I'm needing to get home cuz my dad was watching my daughter who's 21mnths old today actually.. n when I finally looked back at my phone it was already after 4 n I'd left the house at 1:30..finally they all told me to head home with my son n they would keep working with him n try to get him up n home..just before 5 I got a call from the school telling me they made no progress it had actually gotten worse n I ended up running to a neighbors house n basically begging for help to get him home.. we got to the school n he was still on the floor wherehe was when I left only now he was hitting n kicking the door n I was told had been for a while..there r only 2wks left of the after school program which he now doesn't get to attend due to his episode (it had been taken away the principal)
I had tried taking to someone from the church the children attend in hopes that the adults there could help me in some way...guidance as to wat I should do which way to turn something n after witnessing this episode the lady from the church told me it was beyond any help they could provide n all they could do was pray for me..I had parents n other teachers staring at me or keep looking over with this look like wat is wrong with that kid wat is wrong with u ur a horrible Mom etc n made me feel so much worse n after bein told by the lady all any of them could do was pray for me I bout broke down..sounds stupid but it made me feel even worse about myself as a mother like I wasn't good enough it took all I had not to start crying n I'm not one to cry.. I've come to wat feels like a dead end..idk wat to do anymore.. at all..
My oldest has been on concerta for just over a yr he's at the highest does possible n it has no effect on him..he was also given .1mgs clonodine to take at bedtime which has been increased (doubled the dose) cuz the insomnia was still so bad n he was also given zoloft to try to help with anxiety
My middle son (6 1/2) was diagnosed with adhd but from wat the psychologist said or at least wat I understood he's bordering on almost riding the line for being diagnosed with odd also..which I found strange cuz he's more defiant than all my children together Lol..but with him it's basically just the normal temper tantrums n whining/cryin fits aggressiveness etc that most docs like to classify as "normal" adhd things and there really hasn't been much in the way of problems or issues with him in school(like there has been n is with my oldest) n the psychologist started him on 10mg xr adderall which didn't do anything at all so now hes to take 2of the 10mg xr in the mornings followed by a 5mg tablet around 4 in the afternoon n the .1mg clonadine at bedtime (or else no sleep )I've tried all forms of discipline to help correct behaviors n attitudes at home I've spent countless hrs n hrs sittin em down individually of course n tryin to really talk to them tryin to understand tryin to figure out if There's certain triggers to certain behaviors n such.. I've tried everything I can think of.. I've made a point to have sit down talks with teachers counselors principal..hoping we could all work together figure out something no matter how small of a something.. n they all tell me the exact same thing.."I don't know wat to do" or "I don't know wat to say outta ideas"
For the health of your entire family, I think you need to look into full time care for your son. Ask your therapists. I think you need emergency intervention.ReplyDelete
My 9 yr old son has odd & adhd. Before medication and therapy I was called every other day to pick him up from school. He was running out of class, hitting, kicking, biting, throwing things. He is now on Focalin and Tenex, and in an intensive learning center. He now has only occasional temper tantrums, mostly sulking.ReplyDelete
Every child is different but they all depend on us to guide them on the right path. I learned to phrase requests differently, praise more, reward more, take time outs, quit yelling and spanking.
I had to pick him up once because he had run away from his after care group, he was holding onto a pole with someone standing over him. I walked over to him, got down on the ground and held my and open for a hug. If I had chosen to question him or pry his hands off the pole the situation would have gotten worse.
Good luck to you
You have an exceptional casE there. My son, 8y/o is defiant towards his mother. Yelling, arguing, or just not listening. However, this is not the case with me, maybe it's he knows better, but me and his mother are divorce and it is shared custody. You sound like my son's mother but it's not as bad. However, my son will not act out with any male subject. Females, yes to include his teachers.ReplyDelete
Four kids and being a single mom, you have to be incredibly busy. Now, each defiant act could be a cry for attention. A kid will get attention he desires rather it's negative or positive. Give one too much, then the others will get jealous and act out even more.
I didn't see anything about a male role model rather in the home or not. Someone who will be or take on a leadership role. My son takes concerta and intuitive but he will show defiance towards his mother but not her boyfriend.
My suggestion would be, if possible to find a male role-model for them. Mine takes tae kwon do, where the teacher is male and again, there's no acting out. There maybe other programs in your area that may help. I have to tell my son constantly to respect his mother or any other adult as well or face my wrath.
There is no "be good"drug or the world would be a better place. If you do find a male role-model, you may see a huge difference when the kiddos are with that person.
I'm so sorry, I understand what it feels like to be at the end of your ropes! I assume you have tried occupational therapy? Mt boys are not quite that bad, but they also younger. I did, however find an all natural product that has helped me with both my adhd and depression, and it is also helping my boys calm down and focus a bit more. My email is email@example.comReplyDelete
I wish there was some magic treatment to make everything go away, but sadly we haven't found that yet. But I'm sure as a Mom, you can agree with me when I decided that all natural was a better cove then yet another medication. God bless honey! I hope you find your answer
Thank you everyone for your advice! Linda Cook also shared: Some of these medications can actually make the symptoms worse. I tried Wellbutrin and it made me hostile and agitated. My advice like someone else on the blog site said, seek emergency intervention from a trained psychologist/psychiatrist that knows how to deal with everything ASAP. Your son soils himself because he knows he gets attention that way - whether its good or bad attention, he gets your attention. Good luck. Every med is trial and error until they fit with the person's chemistry. Unfortunately, we're all guinea pigs until the right combination is reached. For me I think it was 3 meds.ReplyDelete