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Friday, August 1, 2014

I am a Survivor

I am diagnosed and living with: 
ADHD, Learning Disability, Anxiety, ITP, Scoliosis, Sjögren's Syndrome, and Scleroderma

I'm currently fighting and overcoming:
Depression, Self Harm, and An Eating Disorder
I'm allergic to the following:
Cashews, Hazelnuts, Pumpkin, Chamomile, Oranges, Grapefruit, Mangos, Hosin Sauce, Pumpkin, Lemons, Limes, Kiwi, Anything Spicy, Lactose Intolerant, Penicillin, All Sulfa Drugs, Dilantin, Naproxen, Lamictal, Depakote, and Ceclor.
Hai, My name is Tai. I'm 24 years old. I've had many struggles as I grew up starting at a very young age. While it's been difficult and full of sad moments, there are also lots happy moments. Life might not be best or the way I want it but, at the moment, it's as close as it's going to get to perfection. So here I am. This is my story of how I over came it all.
At age 12 I thought my life was great. I had friends, school was good, and I had my family. I was loving life. Then middle school happened. And all the greatness I had once felt had gone away. I slowly started getting made fun of for being different. I got called it all. From getting told I'm ugly and unwanted to getting told I should kill myself. By the time I was 16 I had developed depression, an eating disorder, and started self harming. I had therapy at this time but didn't really want to talk about it so I stopped going to my sessions. This is also the time where I blocked myself out from the world and gave up on practically everything. As I became closer to 17 I decided I wanted my life back so I started self teaching myself to color to help me relax. It didn't always help. 
By the time I was 18 I just hated life. I nearly didn't graduate and once I started collage I dropped out. Yup. That's right. I'm a collage drop out. At the age of 20 I had gotten a promotion at work and things were looking better. Except they only got worse. I ended up getting myself fired. At age 23 I got servsafe certified and started living my dream as a cook. January 2013 I decided I hated it and got myself fired. Less than a month went by of me moping and debating if life was worth it when I decided it was time to change. I then did a complete 180 of my life. Went back to school. Started a new job. Started doing more stuff for me. Stopped eating so much sugar and sweets. Stopped hiding my emotions. Stopped being ashamed of who I am. And while I'll never fully be ok with who I am, I'm comfortable with who I am. I'm happy and enjoying my life. Even though I've given up before and there's still days I want to give up I don't. I just keep going and always remember. Things always get worse before they get better. No matter what people will always love and care and as long as you have a little hope things will be okay. 

So here I am. My name is Tai. I'm 24. An adult. And I am a survivor.

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