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Monday, August 18, 2014

You've lived with it this long...

Since my recent diagnosis my pet peeve phrase I am already tired of hearing is "You've lived this long with it" or "You made it this far without knowing", like that is supposed to suddenly make it better. Yes, I have lived this far without knowing but definitely not in peace or how I am meant to live. It's been stressful, emotionally tough and damaging to my self esteem,always wondering why I am different than everyone else, and being extremely critical of myself with negative self talk for everytime I forget something or can't focus,or make mistakes. It is mentally and emotionally draining. 

I understand that the people saying that don't clearly understand and am really not sure if they ever fully can without having to feel that emotional and mental stress every single day. I also dislike it when I recognize why I am how I am and try to explain that to people and they laugh it off like I am making excuses or like it's a joke.It's very real! I used to joke about the whole 'look a squirrel!' thing or 'shiny object' thing but even that is very real and frustrating how quickly we can be distracted.I am glad to finally be diagnosed so I can get the help I needed all my life, but it is hard when I have to wait to get in to see a doc to get on the meds and overwhelming when looking through hundreds and hundreds of tips to help me through.

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