Do you have a low sex drive with ADHD? Do you have a high sex drive with ADHD? Does your sex drive alternate between high and low? Here is some information that may help :)
I find medication really evens and smooths things out in that department. I was similar to you where at times I would be a horny sex freak and then for days I'd be cold. It was very difficult for my gf to deal with it because she would take it personally and not understand why I'm acting this way towards her. But it wasn't towards her, it was just how I was. Medicating helped that significantly.
If you don't want to do medication because there's a lot involved with taking medication, you can maybe do counselling but with an ADHD specialist. Perhaps he or she can explain to your husband what is truly happening with you and also address the many questions he may have afterwords. Men are like that sometimes where they need to hear the truth from a second source or an "expert" to finally accept it AS the truth. And in this case the counsellor will hopefully be able to address his questions and concerns. And while the both of you are there the consoler may help you develop a strategy or a system to combat this problem now that you and your husband are on the same page. Sex and intimacy more importantly are incredibly important to a relationship, so I'd actively work on a strategy to reduce this friction (no pun intended, sort of).
As for medication; I am on 40mg of vyvanse (which lasts about 10 hours for me) and i find it pretty spectacular but it took about two months to finally get down. When it comes to sex on vyvanse, it's quite good because I have the focus and calm to give my complete attention to the girl, and I'm not so up and down anymore with my libido. My sex drive is naturally high because of who I am, but it's significantly more steady and normal. I guess. Very few ups and downs. I mean there are days where I get incredibly turned on and don't care if it's 12:42 In the afternoon, if it's her lunch break... Well u know lol. But there is no more coldness from me. And that is incredibly, incredibly important. Even if I'm super focused on something I can always turn to her and pay attention to her. I can finally control those feeling and emotions but without my medications it's not the same.
(Note: Our ADHD Story shares stories and thoughts from others that may not represent our own personal views and feelings)